Wow, I had to reread this to grasp most of it. I, being a lesbian, ex-Mormon, former small town dweller, and all around likable (puts effort into being liked, to a degree) can relate to alot of your points. I won't really touch too much on religion, there is no mormon church with a gay congregation, there is a group online, but no brick and mortar that I can find. I liked being mormon, I was a convert, and it's just kinda too bad they don't like the gays, but hey at one point, they also did not like blacks because they carry the curse of god. Moving on.
What I do wanna comment on is the family/friends and gay thing. My immediate family, my mom and brother, are pretty ok with me being a lesbian. My mom grew up around many gay people and is unaffected really. My brother had something against lesbians when he was a teen. He doesn't get "butchies", but as long as they are not "fucking with him" he says "it's cool, whatever". Yes he is my younger brother. It took us a few years before he could talk about my partner as someone who was my girlfriend and not just a roommate. But in time, he grew accustomed to my life with Meggan, and started to ask about us. Outside of that, I really don't give a flying fuck. I am out to everybody, and I mean everybody, and I don't do it cause I'm brave, or have a chip on my shoulder, or look "gay". I do it to make sure people know that they they know at least one gay person, and that that gay person (me) is no threat to their daily lives. I know it sounds overly simple, but it's my way of ninja. Hahaha. No really, that way, I feel, I don't have to think, or weigh in whether or not I should let so and so know, or what will so and so think if and when I come out to him/her. It is really like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. What I care about is whether on not people like me cause I am a giving person, or someone who can listen to them, or cause I tend to be overly excited about this or that, not because I have a threatening dildo collection and possess the ability to wield them all. I have only a handful of close friends, and its mandatory that those people be cool with the gay thing, otherwise they would not be "close" friends. The friends outside of that circle have varying opinions about the gay thing, but those people are not my friends because they joined PFLAG. They are my friends because of work, or social events/friends/blood we share, and we have to get along and be civil. They know I am gay and just have do deal with it as much as they have to deal with me having brown eyes.
I live in Chicago, a fairly big city, and gay people are harassed here just as they were in west Texas where I am originally from. People have issues with gay people, just as there are people who have issues with blacks, or muslims, or emo kids, or for god knows what reason, red heads. And some of them, usually people with low self esteem and/or IQs decide they want to share that with that group. Fuck em. I won't say I'm never scared of the threat that is the violent bigot, but if I get hurt in the future, I will make sure everybody I know and people I don't will hear about it. That yes, people like me are being hurt in this day and age, because nobody can pretend that this doesn't happen. And it rolls back to being out.
Anyway, I want you to look up the word "marginalize". Refuse to be marginalized. Refuse with all your heart.
What I do wanna comment on is the family/friends and gay thing. My immediate family, my mom and brother, are pretty ok with me being a lesbian. My mom grew up around many gay people and is unaffected really. My brother had something against lesbians when he was a teen. He doesn't get "butchies", but as long as they are not "fucking with him" he says "it's cool, whatever". Yes he is my younger brother. It took us a few years before he could talk about my partner as someone who was my girlfriend and not just a roommate. But in time, he grew accustomed to my life with Meggan, and started to ask about us. Outside of that, I really don't give a flying fuck. I am out to everybody, and I mean everybody, and I don't do it cause I'm brave, or have a chip on my shoulder, or look "gay". I do it to make sure people know that they they know at least one gay person, and that that gay person (me) is no threat to their daily lives. I know it sounds overly simple, but it's my way of ninja. Hahaha. No really, that way, I feel, I don't have to think, or weigh in whether or not I should let so and so know, or what will so and so think if and when I come out to him/her. It is really like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. What I care about is whether on not people like me cause I am a giving person, or someone who can listen to them, or cause I tend to be overly excited about this or that, not because I have a threatening dildo collection and possess the ability to wield them all. I have only a handful of close friends, and its mandatory that those people be cool with the gay thing, otherwise they would not be "close" friends. The friends outside of that circle have varying opinions about the gay thing, but those people are not my friends because they joined PFLAG. They are my friends because of work, or social events/friends/blood we share, and we have to get along and be civil. They know I am gay and just have do deal with it as much as they have to deal with me having brown eyes.
I live in Chicago, a fairly big city, and gay people are harassed here just as they were in west Texas where I am originally from. People have issues with gay people, just as there are people who have issues with blacks, or muslims, or emo kids, or for god knows what reason, red heads. And some of them, usually people with low self esteem and/or IQs decide they want to share that with that group. Fuck em. I won't say I'm never scared of the threat that is the violent bigot, but if I get hurt in the future, I will make sure everybody I know and people I don't will hear about it. That yes, people like me are being hurt in this day and age, because nobody can pretend that this doesn't happen. And it rolls back to being out.
Anyway, I want you to look up the word "marginalize". Refuse to be marginalized. Refuse with all your heart.
Hugs,
Mae/Spiffy
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