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[jbmcdragon]

(Cross posted to the Femmemobile! and jennabreen)

So, I was reading this sci fi novel -- a really good sci fi novel, that except for this bit I'd rec to anyone. Even on a social level I loved it -- the level of racism, sexism, etc. There are a few minor things that I never would have noticed if I hadn't been so involved in these things lately, but even then

Comments

[drabheathen]

I'm not saying it's "too" difficult for guys to actually stop themselves (at least, not mature guys) - like they're runaway trains or something. But I do think that the stronger the libido, the more wrenching and all-consuming the sensation of sexual frustration. (The great hetero romantic myth - that he wants you SO BAD, but he won't cave in to his most primal, predatory impulses - is why Twilight happened. In the same way, we implicitly accept rape culture as normal, and feel flattered when he makes an EXCEPTION because he LOVES US so much.) And I think each partner should take responsibility for their own safety and sanity first, for sure.

But I think that's something that, if not kowtowed to, should be taken into account - a sort of physics of the halflife of sexual momentum. I mean, some guys don't have raging libidos. Some girls do. Hopefully, a couple will be sexually compatible in terms of libido, and both parties open to communication. If someone consistently ignores the other person's libido because they have veto power (because both parties should always have veto power, truly) I think that's quite unfair. Dan Savage has written a lot about this that I quite agree with.

I think, actually, that having a raging libido that won't turn off would be rather terrifying - there was a comedy routine I saw recently in which the comedian joked that all wars happened because of male sexual frustration. I think it could be truly maddening.

There's a great scene of a woman experiencing this exact kind of coitus interruptus in Sunshine, a book I dearly love. Across the genders and sexes,

didn't finish my last sentence

[drabheathen]

... sexual frustration prevails!