Heh...
Well, after being single for oh...a year now, I finally feel up to dating again, sort of. My past experiences have not been so good, and I still regret letting this girl go, but I have to. I don't know how in the hell I can date right now, seeing as I don't have a car - I'll probably have to bum a ride off of my future girlfriend... Pathetic, huh? Also, I have no idea who I might want to date here too. After moving to a town with a population that's smaller than the amount of kids that went to my school in Las Vegas, my options have narrowed considerably - oh well. I am a little scared though, what with my past experience and all. I'm afraid that I won't be a good boyfriend, and that my feelings will get hurt again, and that I'll dropped for some asshole - this kind of thing happened in the past, and I'm always on edge now... a real shame. For the past six months, I've been missing this girl and wanting her so bad, but every time I thought of her, a pain filled my chest. The guilt, and shame of losing someone like her just haunts me. I continually probe into what went wrong with us, and all the figures point to me.
Granted, she was a bit of a Jesus freak. Now when I say Jesus freak, I don't mean your ordinary Christian. I'm talking the kind of person that deems Halloween, a child's holiday, to be satanic. Yes, she had her weird points, but I have mine too, and I was just so closed minded then. I should have been more lenient toward her, I know, but I cannot change the past - I must move on and learn from my mistakes. I also overly criticized her cello playing, but I was too harsh. She had only been playing for eight months when I met her, and I straight-up insulted her playing - this is why I feel terrible. She was a beautiful young lady, full of talent, and fire that could never be put out - full of energy that could never be tamed. She made some mistakes, and I was too proud to let her into my heart, and this I will forever regret.
If you're reading this, you now know how I feel, and I want you to know that you were one of the best people I've met in my life, and I hope that your life is full of loving memories. I hope that every dream you have is realized in your life, and should I never see you again in this life, I pray that I meet you in heaven, and listen to you as you describe your life in joyous detail. You see, I always liked you from the beginning, and even though I may not have been able to show it, I still do - you'll always be in my prayers, and I hope that God sees you through every obstacle in life... And I pray that you do not toss me in to the fire of oblivion in your heart... Please, remember me, and do not judge me on how I was last year...forgive me.
Granted, she was a bit of a Jesus freak. Now when I say Jesus freak, I don't mean your ordinary Christian. I'm talking the kind of person that deems Halloween, a child's holiday, to be satanic. Yes, she had her weird points, but I have mine too, and I was just so closed minded then. I should have been more lenient toward her, I know, but I cannot change the past - I must move on and learn from my mistakes. I also overly criticized her cello playing, but I was too harsh. She had only been playing for eight months when I met her, and I straight-up insulted her playing - this is why I feel terrible. She was a beautiful young lady, full of talent, and fire that could never be put out - full of energy that could never be tamed. She made some mistakes, and I was too proud to let her into my heart, and this I will forever regret.
If you're reading this, you now know how I feel, and I want you to know that you were one of the best people I've met in my life, and I hope that your life is full of loving memories. I hope that every dream you have is realized in your life, and should I never see you again in this life, I pray that I meet you in heaven, and listen to you as you describe your life in joyous detail. You see, I always liked you from the beginning, and even though I may not have been able to show it, I still do - you'll always be in my prayers, and I hope that God sees you through every obstacle in life... And I pray that you do not toss me in to the fire of oblivion in your heart... Please, remember me, and do not judge me on how I was last year...forgive me.