Geez, this is pretty much all wrong
I mean, come on. It starts off shakey. Derek in control? That sounds unlikely, but not implausible. Tenshi as my Number 1? Even less likely. She's too nice. I need a second in command who's gonna watch my back and potentially be very very hostile. I'm gonna skip right over the sex slave bit, because that implies that I'd have even one sex slave. I definitely would have to have many many more.
And having Slater as my military guy? I'm just asking for a coup! I might not die, but I can definitely see an man in the iron mask situation arising, and I cannot afford to get any paler.
I would not put anyone to death for insubordination. Death would be too sweet a release. It'd have to be regular torturing. Maybe I could pull off some kind of reality TV gig, make some cash on the side. Not that I'd need to, being a facist dictator and all, but it's nice to pretend.
Kate, I'm sorry, but you just wouldn't be an appropriate figure head for my government. You've got too much 'free will' and 'intelligence.' Good figure heads have two qualities: attractive and manipulatable. You got A, but you lack B. My figure head leader has to be dumb as a rock. No, even dumber than that. They'd have to be as dumb as dumb rock.
Finally, the final nail in the piece of straw that cast the stone that broke this analogy's back: Billy overthrowing me?! I've head crazy things before, like: "There's too much porn on the internet" and "Let women vote" but this takes the cake. I mean, first, I'd have tabs kept on all my close friends. They would be the ones most able to overthrow me. Second, I'd always have body guards around (yes, I mean always. Even on the john). Third and finally Billy would take too long. I'd be dead long before Billy had a chance to get his hands on me, if not by someone else's hand, but by my own exuberant hedonism (probobly a heart attack during sex).
No, I'm afraid I'm going to have to question the veracity of this meme. It seems as though it has done its normal calculations wrong. Probobly misplaced a decimal point or confused me with another JBlade8. I'm warning all of you: This meme might have some problems with its accuracy.