ok sooooo...
ok so things are better... i went home this last weekend and relized something... i have an unbelievable family and unbelievable friends who love me no matter what... and believe me that is such a great thing to know... especially being out in Irvine when everyone else's lives are going on and i know i'm missing out on a lot of things, but it doesn't matter because no matter what i know that my family will be there and of course there are those friends there that you would die for and who would die for you too... those types of friends are not easy to come by and i'm sooooooooooo grateful that i have them... so in short i'm good... lol i'm doing so much better than i was last week or even the week before that... things are starting to look up ever so slightly and i know that things could always go back to being miserable, but it won't matter anymore because i know that there will ALWAYS be someone there for me... and i love the security i have in that feeling... even if everything was taken from me i know that God is there and He will always protect me, love me, and assure me that things will be ok... it took several hours of talking with my dad and a friend and several hours of crying for me to realize this, but i swear the feeling of reassurance is priceless... ok... well i've got to go write a paper and i don't know where to start so i'll talk to all of you guys later...