I love this so much, because it reminds me of Daruma dolls. With the Daruma doll you fill in one eye when you set a goal for yourself and fill in the other eye when you have reached your goal. When you have an end goal in sight it is easier to achieve it with direction.
This is the beginning of my ending, I wrote this a while ago, but just rewrote it with your thoughts in mind.
A new beginning. What a fucking cliche, but it’s true. I need this new start, it’s time to leave, again. I parked my 2008 Subaru Outback on the ferry below with all the tourist cars leaving for home. I walk up the metal steps and through the inside seating area and out to the upper deck balcony. People are scattered on the outdoor seating. I’m standing at the railing, the morning wind is calm and salty. The bellow of the ferry horn echoes above my head. I feel the churning of the boat starting to leave port. The ferry begins to pull away. I watch the dock as the ferry pulls out of port. No one is there. I secretly want Alex there waving goodbye, but he’s not and that is my fault. I sip on my bitter coffee, I hate when I pretend I don’t need sugar. I watch the dock become smaller and smaller as the ferry pulls further and further away. Goodbye again. I turn away and start to head back down to my car, this shouldn’t feel so hard.
Someone grabs my elbow, “Frankie.”
Thank you for taking the time for teacher's write!
Re: Daruma DollsjbknowlesJuly 9 2018, 18:28:08 UTC
Ooh, intriguing!!!! I like the voice here a lot! It doesn't seem like it would end with the elbow grab, but I like that you have in mind a surprise to this sort of somber end. You've got something really solid and vivid to write toward. Great work!!!!!
This is the beginning of my ending, I wrote this a while ago, but just rewrote it with your thoughts in mind.
A new beginning. What a fucking cliche, but it’s true. I need this new start, it’s time to leave, again. I parked my 2008 Subaru Outback on the ferry below with all the tourist cars leaving for home. I walk up the metal steps and through the inside seating area and out to the upper deck balcony. People are scattered on the outdoor seating. I’m standing at the railing, the morning wind is calm and salty. The bellow of the ferry horn echoes above my head. I feel the churning of the boat starting to leave port. The ferry begins to pull away. I watch the dock as the ferry pulls out of port. No one is there. I secretly want Alex there waving goodbye, but he’s not and that is my fault. I sip on my bitter coffee, I hate when I pretend I don’t need sugar. I watch the dock become smaller and smaller as the ferry pulls further and further away. Goodbye again. I turn away and start to head back down to my car, this shouldn’t feel so hard.
Someone grabs my elbow, “Frankie.”
Thank you for taking the time for teacher's write!
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