(no subject)
im like mad at tj right now. idk whether he was kidding or not but im not invited to hang out with him because im not a slut that makes out with every guy around. he says i need to grow balls cause im a pansy. i told him im not gonna change because thats not me im not one to flaunt myself or throw myself at guys thats just disguisting. i know i really shouldnt care right now. but its like i dont really have anyone else to hang out with. im always the loser outted. i hate how my group of friends fell apart. and i hate even more that i realized that a lot of them werent even my real friends at all in the first place. but it would still be good to feel safe again and not like so alone. thats how ive been feeling a lot lately on my own and completely lonely. i dont feel like i have that one friend i could pour my soul out to and hang out with and everything like that. i dont feel like i have a best friend. i dont know how all this happened i really dont get it. i guess im more socially retarded than others. i know for a fact that i have more self respect than a lot of other people. but idk that just really pisses me off that to him all i am is another girl that should hook up with whoever. girls are not meat. their not just here on earth to make guys happy. we're here doing what we want to do and we're just as good if not better than guys. all i know is that he really made me feel like an ass today. i havent felt like that low in a long time. maybe its my new inhaler since theres steriods in it i got a bit angrier lol. cause right now i just want to say fuck everything especially assholes in this town