An introduction and a few questions...
Hey everyone, I'm really glad I've found this place (however, for the life of me, I don't remember just how I stumbled upon it). A little background on me before I ask a couple questions.
I was born into a strict, "we're right, you're wrong", fundamental Baptist family. I got baptised and "saved" when I was about nine and I really wish someone had stopped me and had me wait and make an informed decision about it, but they were far too into brainwashing the children to think it may be best to have them wait. At the time, I barely even knew anything about my own religion, let alone that there were other religions in existance. At about ten, I found that fact out, but didn't take too much into it because, hey, it's not like I would actually switch my religion, otherwise I'd go to Hell.
Anyway, fast foward about three years. I was finally sitting in on the adult services, which meant that they weren't sugar-coating anything. I felt uncomfortable because I disagreed with a lot of what was being said and I didn't like the mindset of the members and, worst of all, the actual preacher. I talked to my parents about me feeling uncomfortable and, while my mother wouldn't and still won't leave, my dad was all for me going to other churches with him and seeing if I felt better somewhere else.
Well, I didn't. After about two years of church hopping, I decided to quit going all together because I was tired of trying to find a fit. My dad encouraged me to learn about other religions, but to try not to stray too far from the traditional Catholic/Christian mindset. So, since I was about 15 until 19, I was agnostic and occasionally read up and studied other religions to try to figure something out.
I had never really given much thought to Judaism. Not too sure why, I just didn't. About a year ago though, I finally started looking into it and, rather shockingly, found that almost everything I believe in, that was always looked down upon in my old church(es), matched almost exactly to those within the Jewish religion. It's the only religion that I keep wanting to learn about. Rather than reading a summary and then not really thinking about it again, I find myself borrowing books from the library, reading as much as I can online, and participating in online forums. I just feel so comfortable with this and I feel like it's what I want and need.
And now, I'm wanting to convert (Reform is probably most preferable). So here are the questions.
I'm not too concerned about my family's reactions so much as I am about my fiance's. He, and his opinion, is very important to me. He is almost 100% against organized religion. He sees what it does to some people and he doesn't want me joining a cult, he's made that much clear. I fear that me even speaking about converting would throw him into a tirade about it. I don't want to do this behind his back, but I also don't want him to try to discourage me before I'm even able to get my thoughts out about it. Not to mention, his ego. It's not that he's anti-semite or anything, but I think he's got some weird perception of Jews (no thanks to South Park and other stereotyping media stuff). At the moment, I think he'd feel weird being married to a Jew, like everybody is looking at him differently or something. Is there really any way I could lay his fears to rest without sounding like those that give him such a bad idea in the first place?
The one, and only, synagogue anywhere near where I live says that they are both Reform and Conservative. I know a lot of Reform ideas stem from Conservative ones, but I'm not sure how it can be both at the same time. I just haven't come across this before and, needless to say, I'm rather confused. Help?
Since I'm limited to one place, what do I do if the Rabbi turns me away? Should I be persistant and keep at it, or wait until I (eventually) move?
Since I'm currently in college and will be graduating in a year and a half and I'm not sure where I'll be after that, I need to know what the time table is on conversions. I'm sure some are quick and some are slow, but, on average, about how long does it take?
When should I contact the Rabbi? I'm sure some of you would say soon, but I know they're busy and this probably isn't one of the best times of the year to try to start converting. Should I wait a little while or go ahead and give him a call?
I was born into a strict, "we're right, you're wrong", fundamental Baptist family. I got baptised and "saved" when I was about nine and I really wish someone had stopped me and had me wait and make an informed decision about it, but they were far too into brainwashing the children to think it may be best to have them wait. At the time, I barely even knew anything about my own religion, let alone that there were other religions in existance. At about ten, I found that fact out, but didn't take too much into it because, hey, it's not like I would actually switch my religion, otherwise I'd go to Hell.
Anyway, fast foward about three years. I was finally sitting in on the adult services, which meant that they weren't sugar-coating anything. I felt uncomfortable because I disagreed with a lot of what was being said and I didn't like the mindset of the members and, worst of all, the actual preacher. I talked to my parents about me feeling uncomfortable and, while my mother wouldn't and still won't leave, my dad was all for me going to other churches with him and seeing if I felt better somewhere else.
Well, I didn't. After about two years of church hopping, I decided to quit going all together because I was tired of trying to find a fit. My dad encouraged me to learn about other religions, but to try not to stray too far from the traditional Catholic/Christian mindset. So, since I was about 15 until 19, I was agnostic and occasionally read up and studied other religions to try to figure something out.
I had never really given much thought to Judaism. Not too sure why, I just didn't. About a year ago though, I finally started looking into it and, rather shockingly, found that almost everything I believe in, that was always looked down upon in my old church(es), matched almost exactly to those within the Jewish religion. It's the only religion that I keep wanting to learn about. Rather than reading a summary and then not really thinking about it again, I find myself borrowing books from the library, reading as much as I can online, and participating in online forums. I just feel so comfortable with this and I feel like it's what I want and need.
And now, I'm wanting to convert (Reform is probably most preferable). So here are the questions.
I'm not too concerned about my family's reactions so much as I am about my fiance's. He, and his opinion, is very important to me. He is almost 100% against organized religion. He sees what it does to some people and he doesn't want me joining a cult, he's made that much clear. I fear that me even speaking about converting would throw him into a tirade about it. I don't want to do this behind his back, but I also don't want him to try to discourage me before I'm even able to get my thoughts out about it. Not to mention, his ego. It's not that he's anti-semite or anything, but I think he's got some weird perception of Jews (no thanks to South Park and other stereotyping media stuff). At the moment, I think he'd feel weird being married to a Jew, like everybody is looking at him differently or something. Is there really any way I could lay his fears to rest without sounding like those that give him such a bad idea in the first place?
The one, and only, synagogue anywhere near where I live says that they are both Reform and Conservative. I know a lot of Reform ideas stem from Conservative ones, but I'm not sure how it can be both at the same time. I just haven't come across this before and, needless to say, I'm rather confused. Help?
Since I'm limited to one place, what do I do if the Rabbi turns me away? Should I be persistant and keep at it, or wait until I (eventually) move?
Since I'm currently in college and will be graduating in a year and a half and I'm not sure where I'll be after that, I need to know what the time table is on conversions. I'm sure some are quick and some are slow, but, on average, about how long does it take?
When should I contact the Rabbi? I'm sure some of you would say soon, but I know they're busy and this probably isn't one of the best times of the year to try to start converting. Should I wait a little while or go ahead and give him a call?