TOPY try 1 findings.
Just a short update.
I recently began doing t.o.p.y. material, and have been trying to document it with some level of analysis of the results. So far, all of my analysis has unwound into a pile of unreadable slag as I try to approach an end which, right now, I believe I have not glimpsed yet.
As it is, the material has been horrifying in that as I engaged in the concrete act of writing down my desires in this context, I have been confronted with the chain of causality which brought these to bear. Thus far, in my one experiment, I found the underlying cause of these desires to be the a desire for authorities acceptance and blessing of my most socially unacceptable behavior, and to fall into their care. I recognize these desires as being core proletariat ideals which have lead to the suppression of the individual in today's society.
Finding the very class archetypes I am rallying so violently against at the root of sexual fantasy is disturbing, but at the same time grounding.
I know that the exercise did not get to the root of anything, but merely started digging. I sincerely hope that in my digging I will find the internal structure necessary to unseat these things within myself, and if so, perhaps socially as well.
I suppose I need to add Freud to my reading in the nearer future. Likewise, my class studies go on. I believe now that I understand to a sufficient degree the Bourgeois and Proletariat, and the American children they spawned, but I have yet to really grasp the Aristocracy, which I'm hoping is key. Luckily, I still have books on my list which should deal with them, and will hopefully have a better grasp of class as a whole soon.
-- James
I recently began doing t.o.p.y. material, and have been trying to document it with some level of analysis of the results. So far, all of my analysis has unwound into a pile of unreadable slag as I try to approach an end which, right now, I believe I have not glimpsed yet.
As it is, the material has been horrifying in that as I engaged in the concrete act of writing down my desires in this context, I have been confronted with the chain of causality which brought these to bear. Thus far, in my one experiment, I found the underlying cause of these desires to be the a desire for authorities acceptance and blessing of my most socially unacceptable behavior, and to fall into their care. I recognize these desires as being core proletariat ideals which have lead to the suppression of the individual in today's society.
Finding the very class archetypes I am rallying so violently against at the root of sexual fantasy is disturbing, but at the same time grounding.
I know that the exercise did not get to the root of anything, but merely started digging. I sincerely hope that in my digging I will find the internal structure necessary to unseat these things within myself, and if so, perhaps socially as well.
I suppose I need to add Freud to my reading in the nearer future. Likewise, my class studies go on. I believe now that I understand to a sufficient degree the Bourgeois and Proletariat, and the American children they spawned, but I have yet to really grasp the Aristocracy, which I'm hoping is key. Luckily, I still have books on my list which should deal with them, and will hopefully have a better grasp of class as a whole soon.
-- James