My Personal Failures
My dear friends back in Michigan sometimes laugh at me when I say they need to pick up the phone and call me once in awhile. So, many of my friends who were so importmant to me, Mark D, Bill, Prescott, DJ, and countless others. Sometimes though I feel as if I fail as a friend. I feel like when they need something for whatever reason I am so unapproachable, that people feel they can't talk to me. They are there for me, and I feel like I am not there from them. I recieved this e-mail yesterday and it broke my heart.
Jason-
I just got your message on facebook, and it made me realize that I owed you an email. I hope I have the right address, I got it off your facebook profile. I had always wondered if you had actually read that comment. I'm glad you saw it. I'm really happy that you're doing so well. I'm jealous that you're in Florida. Michigan is cold. I really like being here at U of M, but I wish I could relocate the school to Hawaii or something. It'd be nice.
I wish that I was just emailing you to say hi and merry Christmas, but there's a more depressing reason that I needed to get in contact with you. I have no idea of you've been told, but I just found out myself last week, and I wanted to make sure you were informed. I just found out last Monday that Nic Grzegorczyk died this past October. I was able to find his obituary online, and I've included the link to it at the end of this email. I couldn't get ahold of his parents, and it took emailing some random friends of his off MySpace to get a straight answer as to what exactly happened. Long story short, Nic committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. I've included below one of the response emails I recieved from a friend of his named JR.
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Oct 24th, it was a tuesday. the last time I had hung out with Nic was the Sunday before (i guess the 22nd). I had talked to him that day, as recently as a couple of hours before it happened. He'd been really...depressed about a break-up over the summer, but it seemed like he was coping alright. He was even seeing a counselor about it and everything. Well, that tuesday, he sent a number of people in his phone a text message that just said "I'm so sorry." I tried calling him back but didn't get an answer until i get a call from his phone at about 7pm that evening. it was a woman asking if i knew whose phone she was calling from. I said yes and she told me where and when she found it. I made arrangements to pick up the phone from her apt and as soon as i got off the phone called the police.
She found it near a bridge in DC, that serves as an overpass for a parkway that goes through Rock Creek Park. I told the police I believed my friend might've jumped off of it. After picking up the phone from the woman, the dispatcher called to let me know that officers were waiting at the bridge for me. By the time I got there, three other of Nic's friends (one whom I knew, and two i didn't) were there. Apparently, one of the guys I didn't know was on the phone with Nic right after he sent the mass text. Nic had mentioned being at a bridge in the course of the conversation, but then the call cut out. The three of them proceeded to drive around to all the bridges they could think of in DC, but stopped at the one I was headed to when they saw a police copter with a search light circling it. After an hour of waiting and officers searching, someone finally spotted Nic's body off of the east side of the bridge, a hundred or so feet below...he had landed on a small, concrete service building that was by the parkway...
I'm sorry you had to find out this way, and i apologize for giving you the cliff notes... Don't know what else to say right now, but if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Feel free to message me anytime.
JR
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Nic's funeral was on October 29th in Midland, MI. None of us who knew him from Hope were contacted and no one from Hope attended the funeral, to the best of my knowledge. Becca Marcus and I have been talking about this, and she especially has been having a rougher time of it with this. I realize this was probably more depressing of an email than you needed, but I wanted to keep you informed.
When you get a free moment, shoot me an email or give me a call. It'd be nice to catch up and reconnect. Enjoy you day, and I hope to talk to you soon.
Love from Ann Arbor,
-Chris
What am I supposed to think. I college friend died in October and I find out in January. I was the first person that he came out to, he trusted me. And damn, I just don't even know what to think. I failed as a friend, and I have to live with that. While I know all the sentiment is that its not my fault, which I know and have accepted. I have also accepted that I failed as a friend.
Jason-
I just got your message on facebook, and it made me realize that I owed you an email. I hope I have the right address, I got it off your facebook profile. I had always wondered if you had actually read that comment. I'm glad you saw it. I'm really happy that you're doing so well. I'm jealous that you're in Florida. Michigan is cold. I really like being here at U of M, but I wish I could relocate the school to Hawaii or something. It'd be nice.
I wish that I was just emailing you to say hi and merry Christmas, but there's a more depressing reason that I needed to get in contact with you. I have no idea of you've been told, but I just found out myself last week, and I wanted to make sure you were informed. I just found out last Monday that Nic Grzegorczyk died this past October. I was able to find his obituary online, and I've included the link to it at the end of this email. I couldn't get ahold of his parents, and it took emailing some random friends of his off MySpace to get a straight answer as to what exactly happened. Long story short, Nic committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. I've included below one of the response emails I recieved from a friend of his named JR.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Oct 24th, it was a tuesday. the last time I had hung out with Nic was the Sunday before (i guess the 22nd). I had talked to him that day, as recently as a couple of hours before it happened. He'd been really...depressed about a break-up over the summer, but it seemed like he was coping alright. He was even seeing a counselor about it and everything. Well, that tuesday, he sent a number of people in his phone a text message that just said "I'm so sorry." I tried calling him back but didn't get an answer until i get a call from his phone at about 7pm that evening. it was a woman asking if i knew whose phone she was calling from. I said yes and she told me where and when she found it. I made arrangements to pick up the phone from her apt and as soon as i got off the phone called the police.
She found it near a bridge in DC, that serves as an overpass for a parkway that goes through Rock Creek Park. I told the police I believed my friend might've jumped off of it. After picking up the phone from the woman, the dispatcher called to let me know that officers were waiting at the bridge for me. By the time I got there, three other of Nic's friends (one whom I knew, and two i didn't) were there. Apparently, one of the guys I didn't know was on the phone with Nic right after he sent the mass text. Nic had mentioned being at a bridge in the course of the conversation, but then the call cut out. The three of them proceeded to drive around to all the bridges they could think of in DC, but stopped at the one I was headed to when they saw a police copter with a search light circling it. After an hour of waiting and officers searching, someone finally spotted Nic's body off of the east side of the bridge, a hundred or so feet below...he had landed on a small, concrete service building that was by the parkway...
I'm sorry you had to find out this way, and i apologize for giving you the cliff notes... Don't know what else to say right now, but if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask. Feel free to message me anytime.
JR
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Nic's funeral was on October 29th in Midland, MI. None of us who knew him from Hope were contacted and no one from Hope attended the funeral, to the best of my knowledge. Becca Marcus and I have been talking about this, and she especially has been having a rougher time of it with this. I realize this was probably more depressing of an email than you needed, but I wanted to keep you informed.
When you get a free moment, shoot me an email or give me a call. It'd be nice to catch up and reconnect. Enjoy you day, and I hope to talk to you soon.
Love from Ann Arbor,
-Chris
What am I supposed to think. I college friend died in October and I find out in January. I was the first person that he came out to, he trusted me. And damn, I just don't even know what to think. I failed as a friend, and I have to live with that. While I know all the sentiment is that its not my fault, which I know and have accepted. I have also accepted that I failed as a friend.