Just some thoughts on the Lupin/Tonks pairing
This really needs to get out there.
Firstly, I know that Lupin and Tonks are canon. I am canon's bitch, and as such, I accept the relationship. It is there, in black and white.
I have nothing against Remus being with Tonks- because man gotta eat, man gotta fish- because hell, you need to take what you can get in this old world, and I think Mr. Lupin knows that more than most. As he says 'I must be grateful' and I think that in his own way, he needs to be.
Now, I have read Lupin/Tonks stories even before HBP came out. I have recc'd Lupin/Tonks before HBP on a Harry Potter board that I used to frequent. To show you how committed I am to good fanfic, I have beta'd a Lupin/Tonks for topaz_eyes, and I've even written fic on the pairing.
When I was reading HBP I saw the Lupin/Tonks from a mile off, because no, Tonks could not have been in love with Sirius, Harry, you stupid bint. They are cousins albiet second removed, but close enough for the pairing to have interesting genetic effects on the children were they to go that route. Besides, Blackcest only exists in fanfic. That was a clumsy sleight of hand, Ms. Rowling.
So, what is my problem then, if I don't have anything against the pairing?
I have grevious issues with the way how the pairing was presented. Granted, these are my issues, and I do know that the pairing has caused some divisive arguments in fandom. Now, I may be strongly Remus/Sirius, but I'm not batshit crazy. I'm also not one for believing that Remus should journey in this old world alone. Take love where you can get it, old bean.
Love the one you’re with, and all those old love songs that have the same cadence.
However, I do think the way how the pairing has been presented in the book for our consumption is problematic and flawed.
The first thing is, it is heavily hinted by the narrator that Tonks' powers are affected by the fact that her love is unrequited. It isn't the 'survivor's guilt' that Hermione helpfully suggests. The fandom builds up an idea around Tonks not having a good time of it because of many reasons, and I wish to discuss them in turn.
1. Her idealism is being battered by the war.
I think it's a good point, but strangely, Ms. Rowling doesn't even hint at that at all. If she had done, I'd have been a happy jazzy. You see, it doesn't take much to make me happy (as topaz_eyes and sionnain can testify to).
Now, if Rufus Scrimgeour had taken Harry aside (like he did at Christmas and say after Dumbledore's death), and said something along the lines of; 'Harry, the Ministry needs you to align with us as a morale booster. Even the aurors are having a bad time of it, with them doing what is repungant to them and as such, they are questioning their duties.'
I'd have been happy. Those two lines would have made a world of difference in me with what was going on with Tonks. Or, if Harry had eavesdropped on her speaking to Dawlish at the passages in Hogwarts (and why not? Harry eavesdrops everywhere), and if Tonks had said something along the lines of 'No, Dawlish. This is wrong, what we're doing is wrong. We can't be imprisioning innocents, we are no better than the other side!' I'd have been like 'yeah, Tonks I understand.'
2. She's missing Siruis
This point is really moot in my eyes, since Sirius and herself don't even share page space in Order of The Phoenix like herself and Lupin do (in terms of Sirius having to stay inside Grimmauld while Harry has to go back to Hogwarts), and in HBP when Harry tries to reach out to Tonks by saying 'you don't have to be ashamed, I miss Sirius too' she shrugs the comments off. Sirius isn't even a thought in her mind, not at all. If her Patronus had been Padfoot, that would have been a lovely way of honouring a fallen comrade and a family member to boot. It would have also give credence to the fact that she was missing Sirius and in some way, grieving for him (and ergo, survivor's guilt and loss of powers). But she's not. Her patronus is the form of an immense four legged animal, and it is The Wolf (as stated in HBP p. 582, UK Ed.), so yeah, it's all about Lupin there.
3. They are apart at Christmas
So? I know people who spend Christmas alone. I vacationed in Cuarcaco (alone) on my first Christmas away from my family. I wasn't estranged from them or anything, but I wanted some time alone.
When Lupin actually says 'doesn't she have her own family?' he is right. From what we have seen Lupin doesn't really have a family, but she does. Her parents are alive and kicking, and her spending Christmas alone is either;
(a) her needing to be alone (to reflect on the war, or come to terms with various issues) or
(b)her being a brat, along the lines of 'If I spend Christmas alone, maybe he'll notice and Apparate to me.'
It's telling that Molly actually brings up the fact that Tonks is spending Christmas alone.
Remember, Molly's the one that has been offering 'tea and sympathy' to Tonks from 'An Excess of Phlegm' which was oh... eleven chapters ago. In rereading the book, Tonks behaviour is coming through, and to be honest, it ain't flattering. Probably it's the Black genes within her asserting themselves, I guess.
4. She is concerned about Lupin
Yeah, I'll give her that, but since she met Lupin as a member of The Order, his 'disappearances for long periods of time' has been stated from as far as OoTP, and he's been acting as an emissary on behalf of Dumbledore for the dark creatures since OoTP and probably running with the werewolves then. So, what's the hot fuss? It shouldn't detract from her abilities (i.e. her losing her powers).
There are other issues that people bring up, which are rather insulting to me as a woman, actually. Tonks is falling apart because you know how we are when it comes to relationships?
Excuse me?
Uh... no.
Now that I've discussed those points (and feel free to boo or yayy regardless, because I'm about the discussion here).
Here's my main problem with Remus/Tonks - how it was brought up.
In order for you to understand me, I need to explain the context of this comment.
Since the first book, we've being building up to Harry's war with Voldemort and his forces. For the first four books, it is Voldemort regrouping. He has to kill unicorns for blood (recipe for immortality, check), and then in the second book (which angst, I haven't reread), we get a bit more of Voldemort. He is Tom Riddle, yes. We get a glimpse of parseltongue, and hints of identity and choice, and a hint of the Imperius that Ginny may have been under.
In the third book, there is Sirius and Lupin and Peter, interesting and important characters to the first two books, because it is Sirius that inadvertently lays the trap for the Potters' deaths, and it is Peter that is Judas in this cautionary tale of who to trust and whatnot. In the fourth book, we finally see the casual cruelty of Voldemort. Kill the spare he hisses to Wormtail, and it is done. Peter cuts off his right hand, and lets blood from Harry. In a blink of an eye, the series moves from fluffy to edgy. The first life has been taken before our eyes.
With the Order of The Phoenix, we are now dealing with the sudden loss in war time. Sirius' death is senseless, but then only in a way that deaths in war can be. The Deatheaters have now invaded the consciousness of the Wizarding World and Voldemort is about once more.
In The Half Blood Prince is now the book where war is now afoot. We have now seen the army of Deatheaters that Voldemort has as his disposal. Fenir Greyback for one, the dark creature that probably haunts Lupin's existence (both in sleep and awake), Voldemort has now brought the war to Hogwarts, and upon his orders, Dumbledore is dead.
In the chapter The Phoenix Lament the members of the Order are now reeling from the aftershocks of the battle that has come to the school. Dumbedore, the Greatest Wizard of The Age is dead. Snape, who they worked alongside for years has actually killed Dumbledore (that is the perception), and had a hand in killing the Potters at Gordic’s Hollow, Lupin's cover among the werewolves is now blown, and Bill is mauled. This scene is supposed to bring the seriousness of the war to us. If it were a movie, it would be all tints of grey, and the faces around would be drawn and pinched and white. There would be no sound for a few seconds, the camera would pan the room, taking stock of the grimness of the walls, the muted lighting - almost a chiaroscuro effect, the light source at Bill’s beside (where Fleur is) and the rest of the room getting darker as the light gets fainter.
The atmosphere would be electric, people being shocked but yet, unable to move, to think, to process. Their leader is gone, Snape has turned traitor, Bill is greviously wounded, Lupin has his knees cut from under him again - his mentor (Dumbledore) is dead, Snape, the guy who he has said to Harry 'if Dumbledore trusts Snape, so do I' and has been played for a fool. He also finds out the fact that Snape had a hand in his friends’ deaths.
This would have been a scene of power, if the moment had been held. This is a scene where, if you’re reading it to a child, you’d hold her/him a little tighter, kiss the top of her/his head, and your voice would be hushed by the severity of the situation. If the child, afterwards looked up at you and said ‘Mum, is Dumbledore dead?’ You should have had to swallow the lump in your throat and hope that your voice didn't break as you'd say ‘yes. Yes, sweetie, he is.’
Or, if you’re like me -who was reading this piece by the light of a lipstick-sized mag-lite in a rickety tent that swayed and squeaked as the wind and rain shrieked around myself, on an island off the coast of Scotland-I should have buried myself into the sleeping bag just a little deeper, and hugged the sheet around me just a little bit more snug, because He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is on the loose. I should have found myself probably waking my partner up and saying- ‘Will? I’m sorry, but I’m scared. Voldemort is back and Dumbledore is dead. Please hold me.’
This was to be the emotional pay dirt after six books, the crux of the moment where Harry realizes the scope of his mission, and we realize it too, and just hurt for Harry, so when he tells Ginny good bye, we should have nodded while blinking away the mist in our eyes ‘yes, yes, Harry. Just…go.’
Not rolling our eyes and going- ‘oh the ‘Peter Parker’ speech. So lame. What. Evah.’ complete with the thumb and forefingers joining to form the 'W' to boot (oh, was that just me, then?).
This scene in the sixth book (and how many years in the making?) that the author has built means nothing now as Tonks put their business out in the open and employs her scene chewing abilities to great effect. A potent, overwhelmingly powerful scene is ruined by her histrionics.
Never mind your grief, is the message that I get from Tonks’ actions. The fact that even Harry a sixteen year old boy has the nous to distance himself from Lupin because his emotions are flayed and raw and bleeding and should be ‘private’ says something about the desolation that Lupin must have felt and shown.
Tonks, however takes this opportunity to negotiate the terms of their relationship, and gets the others of the order on her side. 'I don't care' she says, and really she doesn't in more ways than one, as long as her needs are seen to. 'I don't care...' she says again, just in case we missed it the first time.
If Tonks loves Lupin, love would have been her just touching Lupin on the shoulder, or putting a hand against his cheek to wipe away a tear or two. Love would have had her holding her tongue, and allowing him to be silent, when he can't say a word. That would have been very poignant and Tonks would have shown some sort of grace (and we would have gotten the Lupin/Tonks ship - really. Trust us, JK we're not stupid) and I would have accepting.
Now, Lupin is right when he says he's too old, too poor and too dangerous. He is. His cover is blown, he can't get work as a werewolf, and emotion-wise, he is dead again. He is numb. If Fenir wanted to get back at Lupin, he could just go and kill Tonks, or if not, turn her (which would be worse, I feel because that would be a good way to get back at Lupin for playing him for a fool). But never mind that, they are together (as implied by the chapter The White Tomb standing hand in hand, and her hair is pink and her powers are miraculously restored.
My problem with the Lupin/Tonks relationship is how it has been presented in the text. Because there is a whiff of ‘all you need is love! Love is all you need!’ Moulin Rogue aspect of it, it seems to have set off a ‘Beauty and the Beast’ Disney-fied version rash of fics by writers. There doesn’t really seem to be a ‘dark side of the moon’ aspect to this ‘Wotcher Wolvie’ ship, why the comment most associated with Remus/Tonks is how cute it is. Or at least, not from most of the stories that I have read so far. Which is a pity, because there is a dark side to this pairing.
For instance, Tonks is an Auror, right? And Lupin for all his intents and purposes and causes, is classified as a ‘Dark Creature’.
For all we know, an Auror’s oath might be the fact that well, if push comes to shove, he/she should find and eradicate all dark creatures in the wizarding world. If Tonks actually starts to shack up with this dark creature (aka Remus Lupin) what does this do to her oath as an Auror? Especially if she has battled against her name (Black), her sex (perhaps it’s skewed towards the males?) and sees her career as a part of her identity (I’m being generous here). Especially if Tonks is like most career women I know, in that they actually define their selfhood by the profession that they hold dear?
Also, Lupin has his own issues. Not of ‘lack of self worth’ like a lot of female fans online have gathered and expressed- ‘as in ‘awww, poor baby, he thinks that she needs someone whole and young because he feels this way… Tonks will cure him, and love him and make him whole’ because those thoughts are … misguided.
Lupin has his own issues with regards to his identity in the wizarding world (I’m giving my meta away). Where does he stand with wizards (too wolf) or his ‘fellows, his equals’ (the wolves when they think he’s too wizard).
It’s damned skippy that Lupin says that Tonks needs someone whole because he’s battling within himself to keep it together. Tonks already knows her own place in the Wizarding World, and where she stands. She may not like it, but she is a descendant of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black, and I’m sure (if she’s like most British that I know), she’d definitely use it to her advantage (like people whose grandfathers were the bastards of a random Earl, but they keep the crest on their front doors or stationery for letters to jazzy) when it suits. Even if Tonks chooses to reject her links to the House of Black, the fact is, she isn’t thought of as a lesser person in doing so. But if Lupin tried to reject the wolf aspect of him, it's still not good enough for the wizarding world, and if he tries to reject his humanity, it is not good enough for the werewolves, either.
So yeah, that is my problem with the Lupin/Tonks ship. The fact that there are loads of issues swirling around there, it has being ignored by the author (so far) as well as the majority of the writers of the ship because you know… love is in the air and they are so cute!
Talk to me people.