On Vox: Les Petits Crimes
Candy Jar
Across the hall from me is one of our QA workers, one who spends most of his down downstairs in the lab. On his desk he keeps a jar of candy with a lid. I'm fairly sure that there are some Jolly Ranchers and other items in there that may interest me. Every time I leave my office during the day I see the jar and I think to myself "I might like one of those". So far I have yet to sneak anything out of the jar, but the thought gnaws at me rather often.
Everyone has their little crimes, the ones they long to commit or the ones they have.
When my mother would take me grocery shopping I would always make sure to lag behind a little bit as we passed the Brach's candy display; the one that has the big buckets of a variety of items from gummy bears to waxy chocolates and gumdrops. I think I must have been no more than 10 at the time, but she did catch me once, it was the last time that I ever swiped candy out of the bins. There is nothing more embarrassing to a young boy than being told at the register by your mother to give the lady a dime for the candy you ate.
I also have a couple of rather big, heft margarita glasses. They are the kind you get at a mainstream Mexican restaurant, full of a lime green frozen margarita swirled with some sort of fruity juice, the rim crusted with salt. These I didn't steal, my friends (who shall remain anonymous) fit them into their purses to bring home. I'm not sure why I ended up with their spoils, perhaps because our apartment had all the liquor. For some reason I'm loathe to get rid of them, even though they are rarely used. Perhaps it's a little bit exciting to say "Why, yes, I did get these from On The Border."
Lastly, my newly enjoyable seasoning is the Melting Pot's offering for your salad; Garlic and Wine. This one I don't feel bad about, not in the least. After all, our server did say "We sell it for $5, but if I forget to pick it up off the table, oh well." Permission, at last! It rode home in the sleeve of my jacket. Still, when I see it with the rest of the spices I have to admit to myself that hey, I cheated a bit for that.
So that's how I've cheated the system, at least, the ones I remember most.
Originally posted on jazzyfox.vox.com