If we're never together/ if im never back again/ well i swear to god that i'll love you forever

[jazzydramaqueen]

Another interesting and deeply contended theory about the true nature of romantic love. This sort of love is brought about only by an absence or lacking. The longing that results is what brings about feelings of love; relationships, on the other hand, are just about co-existing with one's partner, there is no desire or yearning because how do you

Comments

[anonymous]

like i said before, i am awed..
thinking about which lines, pieces i especially gravitated to, here's some bits i found especially juicy:

Sitting on the ledge, we were enclosed.
Leaving the desert that could never hold you
With infinite possibilities, where on earth could you possibly go?
This independence is stifling.
So you suffocate in the abyss.

i love this contrast, this duality you maintain through the entire poem. the image of a vast emptiness, intuitively we believe it could hold the infinite, but you capture that essence people tend to forget about the limitless, that in a way, it negates the meaning of individuality; when there are so many ways and choices, it makes the specific choices and ways we decide to go about seem rather pointless. Sitting on the ledge, we were enclosed. who hasn't at that moment, when all possibility and chance is open before us, felt a trembling terror... do i dare disturb the universe? (ahhh elliot...)

That is when we met. And
That should have been the end of it.

that sort of internal half-rhyme between "met" and "it," it really does something for these lines.. not sure what, they are already good lines, there's just an inkling of something more by the way you arrange them.

it would be so easy and accurate to copy+paste the entire poem and just say, "yes every line is wonderful."

[otaku_bang]

oops i forgot to log in....

[jazzydramaqueen]

You are too kind. Our midterm assignment came at just the right time, I was really inspired by Cornell--The idea of the infinite enclosed within a tiny box, or as you put it "a universe in a box", (its interesting how its "a" universe and not "the" universe, anyway) is really interesting to me. Especially at a point in my life where i was beginning to feel like i had, at a point in the past, anything and everything. The difference between having all possiblities (which was everything) and losing that felt like just contrast between the infinite and the encased. Anyway, there's a lot of mental ruminations that went into the poem, i only wished i was better able to articulate.
Anyway, upon reading your poem again, a few more things stood out:
1. I really like your writing style, its unique and intellectual. You seem to say precisely what you mean.
2. I like the line:
Is it vanity now that dares us to disturb the universe?
Elliot's "Prufrock" is one of my all time favorite poems.

3. I particularly enjoy the numerous mythological references that you seamlessly weave into the poem. It says a lot that you pair myths with astromonomy. Its like the whole duality between the scientific and the sensual.

: ) You should post some other pieces.