she said I can't take this town, i'm leaving you tonight.

[jazzydramaqueen]

Lately i've been noticing how my old implusive tendencies have been creeping back into my life. Somethings dont matter, some might. Like this morning, i gave away a whole bunch of money. I probably shouldnt have, becuase as it is right now i can't exactly afford rent for the rest of the summer, but i felt compelled to, i randomly got so angry at money and materialism, i didnt want anything to do with it. I've also been feeling a lot more social as of late-being both implusive and social means i've been making plans for the next week with more people than i've probably seen in months. I've even made some new friends in my summer classes becuase i've felt the unusual (for me) need to start conversations. This is the positive side of my implusion. Negatively( i suppose), i've also been quick to end things. its almost like I dont have the perspective or patience to deal with difficulties, but more just that i wont. Maybe, Its just that things like money and relationships seem so frivolous suddenly. So which is which,
am I destructive, or was i previously just making everything in my life seem so vitally serious? Whatever, i just wish people wouldnt push me. I apt to do something excessive again. I kind of hope that i dont do something drastic like leave for...where ever, anywhere.
in other news, my parents offered me a free one-way ticket back to Virginia, whenever i want. Apparently, they worry about me, i seem depressed, different. Not Normal.
Go figure.

"My heart is beating from me,
I am standing all alone,
Please call me only if you are coming home."