Almost there...
I feel like all the puzzle pieces have been falling into place.
I've lost 17 pounds so far. I haven't had this confidence in 3 years. I only have 9 pounds to go.
My stomach is manageable. I have myself on a near-liquid diet. Slim-fast, Ensure, soups.
3 weeks left of nursing school. Have maintained my grades throughout the entire year. I have been on the honor roll every term. I feel so incredibly proud of myself that I did it. That I didn't give in to my stupid health problems.
I started volunteering at a ranch a couple weeks ago. I get to ride horses again. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I feel free. I feel like when I am on a horse, everything is lifted from my shoulders. Everything is okay. I get to work with the horses every Sunday. I'm in charge of 23 horses. Right now, we're having winter camp, so I've been helping with winter camp during the week and getting paid 20 a day to cover gas to get to the ranch.
I also got hired as a home care nurse for over nights on Saturdays. I will be starting the second Saturday in January for $100 a day. Once I graduate, I will also work over nights on Sunday's for $70. It's a perfect start!
The only thing not coming together is my 'love life'.
I'm just not totally happy with my boyfriend. I feel very trapped and bored. I feel no excitement anymore. I don't feel that...ugh. That feeling that should be there. I have felt it recently. As recently as yesterday. I ran into someone at B&N that I've known for awhile and it really felt like he was flirting with me. He's extremely good looking and very sweet. He's also a published author. I actually had that 'feeling' again. I don't know what that is...I can't put it into words.
The feeling of being turned on has occurred with multiple people. L, A, C, S, G, J. But not my boyfriend.
I'm almost there with school. I'm almost there with life. I'm almost there with my health.
Now I need a man that can fuck me until I'm screaming. Someone that can hold me when I'm sick. Someone who is romantic, just occasionally is all I ask. But god, I want to be fucked so bad.
Masturbating is getting old.
I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go,
I want to be a part of something I don't know,
And if you try to hold me back I might explode.
I've lost 17 pounds so far. I haven't had this confidence in 3 years. I only have 9 pounds to go.
My stomach is manageable. I have myself on a near-liquid diet. Slim-fast, Ensure, soups.
3 weeks left of nursing school. Have maintained my grades throughout the entire year. I have been on the honor roll every term. I feel so incredibly proud of myself that I did it. That I didn't give in to my stupid health problems.
I started volunteering at a ranch a couple weeks ago. I get to ride horses again. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I feel free. I feel like when I am on a horse, everything is lifted from my shoulders. Everything is okay. I get to work with the horses every Sunday. I'm in charge of 23 horses. Right now, we're having winter camp, so I've been helping with winter camp during the week and getting paid 20 a day to cover gas to get to the ranch.
I also got hired as a home care nurse for over nights on Saturdays. I will be starting the second Saturday in January for $100 a day. Once I graduate, I will also work over nights on Sunday's for $70. It's a perfect start!
The only thing not coming together is my 'love life'.
I'm just not totally happy with my boyfriend. I feel very trapped and bored. I feel no excitement anymore. I don't feel that...ugh. That feeling that should be there. I have felt it recently. As recently as yesterday. I ran into someone at B&N that I've known for awhile and it really felt like he was flirting with me. He's extremely good looking and very sweet. He's also a published author. I actually had that 'feeling' again. I don't know what that is...I can't put it into words.
The feeling of being turned on has occurred with multiple people. L, A, C, S, G, J. But not my boyfriend.
I'm almost there with school. I'm almost there with life. I'm almost there with my health.
Now I need a man that can fuck me until I'm screaming. Someone that can hold me when I'm sick. Someone who is romantic, just occasionally is all I ask. But god, I want to be fucked so bad.
Masturbating is getting old.
I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go,
I want to be a part of something I don't know,
And if you try to hold me back I might explode.