The Nocturnal Insomnia Dilemma

Jul 18, 2009 00:33


Title: The Nocturnal Insomnia Dilemma.
Author:jazzrose343 
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Spoilers: General Season one and Two.
Rating: T
Word Count: 2500 ish
Disclaimer: It is mine, only in an alternate universe where it was Sheldon/Penny from the start.

Notes: Based off Fiction Friday prompt- Night. I wasn't able to finish in time and then it grew a bit erm.. Bigger. ended up taking two fics I was working on and smushing them together. Also completely un-betated, so apologies for any errors. Advanced warning for possible WAFFYNESS. It didn't begin that way but it is kind of how it turned out.

Penny had always loved the night.

When she was young she used to climb up on the roof and look at the stars for hours.
Watching the tiny lights flickering in the ink black darkness she would imagine worlds far away from the expansive countryside that surrounded her parents house.

As she got older the night held a different excitement. It would mean sneaking out to a party or just sitting and talking with her friends about what life after high school would be like until the early hours of the morning.

When Penny first came to California her nights were a riot of colour. She sampled all that life outside Nebraska had to offer. Different bars, different drinks and different guys.

With Kurt she would lay awake and wonder where he was. The image of him and the legs of some drunken hook-up  wrapped around him running through her mind as the night turned is to the first weak rays of the new day.

Moving into 4B presented a whole new array of night time experiences for Penny.

Never in any reality had she expected to find her apartment being invaded for a witching hour clean up. Certainly not by some stork legged whack-a -doodle who could not rest until he had done something about the so called “post apocalyptic disaster zone” that she was living in.

Waking up on her couch not knowing whether it is day or night and with Cheetos stuck in her hair was not part of Penny’s to do list for California.
But as she discovered, nights spent engaged in epic battles with Sheldor would become more regular than she ever imagined.

It was not an everyday experience either to spend a Saturday night trying to unhook your underwear from a telegraph wire.

When it reached the point where she found herself sitting up through the night making plastic flowers and watching a grown man dressed as The Flash, Penny decided that it was things involving the guys that were at the top of her list of surreal nightime experiences.

When they had left for the Arctic, Penny had missed them all.

Time away from them had caused Penny to think  about her relationship with all the guys, and her conclusions were not the ones she expected.

As far as she could tell Raj was like a sweet kid brother and Howard was that  Uncle that was okay most of the time but someone you didn't want to get caught alone with.

Leonard was a different story. It had been obvious from the start that he was sweet on her and she really did like him. When she had given him the Snuggy and hugged him extra hard she had felt something, she had felt safe.

The more Penny thought about it that's what Leonard was, he was safe. He wouldn't hurt her or cheat on her and he would always think the best of her.
She knew that with Leonard everything would be gentle and easy .
With so many other aspects of her life full of uncertainty he would be something that she could cling to in the chaos.

Penny had spent nights tossing and turning about what she really wanted. It would be so easy when they got back to take things further, take the smooth easy path.

However, as Penny discovered life had a habit of throwing you a curve ball.

The messages had started with little frequency. Requests to check on the apartment and collect their mail. Then specific instructions about collections from the comic book store.

Penny didn't mind this, checking on the apartment or picking up the latest copy of Batman. But  what was starting to bug her was the impersonal nature of his e-mails.

She would ask after him and try to ask some questions about his research but he never asked anything about her or what she was doing.

Then one evening after a nightmare shift  she came home to a four word e-mail.-

To:pennyin4b@gmail.com
From:DrCooper'@caltech.edu.

Please check our mail.

That had been it.

No please, no thank you, just those five words. It had been a breaking point after a day full of crap and she had sat down and written a more than harshly worded reply.
Penny had told him to get his head out of his ass and that and that if he didn't want to come back to an apartment that resembled her Uncle's pigsty then the occasional thank you wouldn't go amiss.

Something seemed to change at that point .

It started with please and thank you and grew into the occasional question about her welfare.

By the third month it had developed to the point where they exchanged e-mails daily and he forwarded her links to reviews of her peformance with the Pasedena Shakespeare Company. Her role as Titania had been the start of a small trickle of offers that had begun to com her way.

In their fourth month their Sheldon caught a cold. He drove the guys crazy with his demands and complaints about the lack of vapour rub.

Penny spent four nights sitting up with him. She placated his rants and sang "soft kitty " though her headset.

Meeting them at the airport Leoanrd wasn't the one she went to first.
When she saw him  in the arrivals lounge standing almost a head taller than everyone else and fiddling with the strap of his carry on bag, a huge grin spread over her face.
She hugged him awkwardly and held on a little longer than he felt comfortable with.

Life settled into it's previous routine pretty quickly. There was Thai food, Halo and one attempt to make "Anything Can Happen Thursay" happen.

Penny wasn'y ready to talk to Leonard and so did what she did best and ignored any attempt he made to talk to her alone.

However about two weeks after they got back, Leonard knocked on her door and asked her if she wanted to go to the movies and maybe grab a bite afterwards.
When Penny realised that he meant just the two of them, she spent possibly the most uncomfortable night of her life explaining why it wasn't what she wanted.

The next few weeks involved a lot of Leonard working late, the upcoming review of his tenure as the excuse.

Penny found herself spending a lot of time with Sheldon. She would take him to the comic book store and give him rides home when Leonard was working late.

They spent evenings that far exceeded Sheldon's designated bed time watching Classic Who and Sheldon teaching her the entire history of the show.

The nighttime held a new draw for Penny, one that she wasn't quite ready to examine.

Then the dreams started. She was drifting off, indulging in her favourite David Tennat fantasy when the image of his face popped into her head.

Once she could dismiss but when it started to happen almost every night, denial was no longer an option.

She tried to keep busy in the day. Attempting  to impress casting directors and keep groups of kids high on e-numbers from completely decimating the Cheese Factory.

However laying in bed at 3.00am  trying to get to sleep and nothing to distract her mind always come back to the same point, thinking the same thoughts.

Sheldon.

There had been a point in the last year when they had moved from reluctant neighbours and sparing partners to actual proper friends.

He trusted her to get his order right for Thai night and she would endure his lectures on better laundry practice in return for him folding her clothes.

But lately she felt her heart beat a little bit faster when he gave her that self satisfied smile over some small victory  or another proof of his intellectual superiority.

And few days ago she had found herself imaging moving from the middle of the sofa and straddling his lap, Ready to show him a thousand other reasons for his spot to be the perfect place to sit.

She should have seen it coming, The way she deliberately found ways to annoy him and the pleasure it gave her to bring on that tick on the left side of his face. Just like in eight grade when she would call Mickey Carlson a geek but secretly wish he would ask her if she wanted help with her math.

He had worked his way under her radar with his irritating habits and offhand getsures of kindness. something about him that was just plain Sheldon.

Unable to to sleep. Penny beagn to go up on the roof. She would stare at the stars just like when she was a kid. Her thoughts a thousend miles away from the girl with stars in he eyes and her head in the clouds.

Again realizing that sleep was no closer than it had been three hours ago. She got out of bed and pulled on some sweats. Grabbing her keys she walked out of her apartment and headed for the stairs.

Taking the stairs at the slow pace her body would allow she headed for the roof. She needed to see the sky and lose herself in the inky blackness. However when she got up to the top she saw a familiar figure standing in the far corner.

Drawing in a sharp breath Penny made her way over to where he was standing.

Okay Penny, there's no need to get all jumpy. He doesn't know you were thinking less than clean thoughts about him five minutes ago.

As she walked towards his imobile figure, she found her gaze travelling along the straight line of his lean back.

Dammit Penny, can you not stop it for five minutes!

Unable to help herself she called out to him.

“Hey Moonpie, what brings you top-side at this time of night? ”

Penny saw a small spasm of shock pass across his face at the sound of her voice.

Turning to her he replied, “I find myself unable to succumb to my usual circadian rhythms," before turning back to looking out at the sky.

There was something in the look he gave her that urged Penny to continue.

“So why the roof? I'd have thought that after your experiences with rock climbing that this was the last place you'd come."

Turning once again and giving her what she had named his "Penny you are totally missing the obvious" glare, he answered her.

" Penny there is a marked difference between standing on the roof of a structually sound building, the intergrity of which adheres to my own personal inspection standards and clinging onto a wall held by a safety harness of questionable manufacture."

"Okay Sheldon, geeze I was only asking!"

"May, I then enquire what has brought you here?  this does not fit in to your "I need at least twelve hours to not punch someone rule."

Penny found that she couldn't quite meet his eye.

"I just couldn't sleep." She shrugged, turning to follow his gaze the lights of the city below.

They stood in companionable silence for a few minutes, taking in the view that their particular corner if the roof offered.

All the time Penny was accutely aware of the close proximity of their bodies.
She had to dig her nails into the palm of her hand to keep from reaching over and entwining her fingers with his.

She also noticed that he was not vocally objecting to the fact that their arms were almost touching.

Smiling she kept her face firmly facing forward unwilling to let him see the emotions playing over her face.

Then he spoke, jerking her from her revere.

His was gazed still fixed on the horizon.

“ I used to climb out onto the roof when I was a child. I found it a good place to collect my thoughts and work on my theories in peace.”

Something warmed in her that he had chosen to tell her something so obviously personal.

Smiling at the thought of a young Sheldon perched on a porch roof with a miniature white board, face creased with concentration,
Penny replied.

“ I used to go up on the roof and watch the sky. I used to think about what it would be like when I could get out of Nebraska.”

Suddenly turning to face her he asked,

“ Has it lived up to the expectations of your juvenile fantasies?”

Knocked slightly by the question she looked up at him and noticed there was a sparkle of curiosity in his eyes.

Penny gave him a small smile, " Well I haven’t got anywhere near where I’d like with my acting, but it’s not been all bad.”

Seemingly encouraged by her response, he continued.

“Would you care to elaborate on the aspects of your California life that have added to your general well being?”

Unable to help herself, she replied “ Well I did meet this guy who has taught me the essential need to separate whites from colours when I do my laundry.”

Penny felt herself growing warm as Sheldon gave her a slightly goofy grin.

“Has this particular gentleman aided any other aspects of your life at present ?”

“ Well he irritates the hell out of me, and I can't understand half the words that come out of his mouth, if that's the sort of thing you mean."

Unable to recognize the jokey tone in her reply, Sheldon's face began close down.

He started moving towards the door, " I feel that I am now sufficiently tired to resume my normal sleeping pattern. Good night, Penny."

Reacting on instinct Penny reached out and grabbed his arm, turning him round to face her.

" Hey, where's the fire Sheldon? One minute your ok to talk to me and then you blank me and make to leave. I know your understanding of 'social conventions' isn't up to much, but what gives ? "

Sheldon's brows knitted with confusion, his expression making her heart squeeze.

"The syntax of your sentence suggested that you find my presence somewhat detremental to your general well being!"

Taking a breath, Penny prepared herself to explain what she had meant by her statement.

God help me! I'm crazy about him, but his lack of understanding of anything outside theoretical physics is gonna kill me.

" Sheldon sweetie, it was a joke! I was just messing with you Moonpie!"

Penny noticed a flash of comprehension cross his face at her words.

" It see, so there was no malice intended in your comment."

" No, sweetie."

" I feel it may be beneficial to make another sign to aid my understanding in some of our conversations."

" Maybe your right,"

"Penny, I realise that this may be slightly pertinent request but may I ask that you give a more serious answer to my earlier question. I feel it may aid in my circadian rhythms in returning to normal,"

It took Penny a minute to process what he was asking.

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER!  Sheldon is asking me to tell him how I feel about him.

Penny realized at the same time that her hand was still resting on his arm.

Feeling suddenly brave, she slid her hand up his arm and gently cupped the side of his face.

He quirked with shock at her sudden action, but did not attempt to move away.

"Penny, I may need for you to give verbal confirmation to fully understand your answer."
His voice was slightly shaky and his eyes did not move from her face as he spoke.

" Well Sheldon, I've never been very good with words. It's probably better if I show you."

She took a step forward and gently cupped his other cheek. As she moved closer she saw  that he was a little unsure about what to do, but he again stayed where he was.

Penny moved closer pausing with her lips almost brushing his. Then she spoke.

"He makes me want to this, even though he irritates the hell out of me and gives me stikes for sitting in his spot !."

Sheldon caught her by surprise and closed the minute gap brushing his lips against hers.

Thinking went out of the window right there. All Penny could do was feel.

His lips gently brushed hers a second time and his hands moved from his side to rest gently on her waist. Pressing herself closer Penny deepened the kiss and and moved her hands to wrap round his neck.

His hands began to trace small circles of the skin were her top rode up and Penny let out a groan. She ran her fingers through his short hair and stood on her toes in attempt to bring herself closer.

Then with a shock Penny felt Sheldon gently trace his tongue his across bottom lip. Tingles of pleasure shot right to her core.

Before she lost all coherent thought, Penny pulled back.

As reluctant as she was end the way things were going, Penny wanted to know what he was thinking.

Before she had a chance to ask him he began to question her.

"Is there something the matter Penny ? If I have done something to upset you please tell me."

Penny chucked and gently rested her forehead against his.

"Not at all moonpie, I just think we should talk for a minute about what just happened."

"Well Penny surely you don't need me to explain that...."

" No sweetie, I mean what's going to happen between us. I mean I know this is hard for you to talk about things like this, but I kinda need to know what's going on."

Sheldon moved back slightly but did not take his eyes from her face as he spoke.

" I  am not very well-versed in articulating my feelings but I can say that I currently feel more for your own welfare than my own and that thoughts of you have been encrouching on time that is usually dedicated to my work."

Then he smiled and gently tucked wayward curl behind her ear.

Not able to think of a better reply , her voice catching sligtly Penny grinned back and said, " Well it's not bad start, but there may still a little room for improvement."

This time recognising the playful tone of her voice, Sheldon brushed his lips against hers and replied." I believe that is an acceptable request, it may be wise if we draw up a contract to solidfy the terms of the endevour."

Realising that he had not considered the full weight of his suggestion, Penny moved out of his arms and held out her hand,
" It's not a bad idea but it's gonna need a bit of discussion and right now I barely have the brain power left to stand up. How about we try and get some sleep and talk some more in the morning."

Sheldon turned his gaze back to the sky and stated," It is morning."

"Alright smart ass how about later this morning, much later."

Moving to Penny's side and linking his fingers with hers he led her to the roof door and back down to her apartment.

Once inside they stood by the sofa unsure of what to do next.

Penny was  gripped with the realization that she didn't want him to leave.

"Sheldon, look I know this is kinda sudden and you don't have to do anything, and before you say it I know it'snot your bed. But I would really like it if you stayed here. Just to sleep, nothing else."

Sheldon looked at her, obviously considering her words before he answered.

"Okay, but I get to choose which side of the bed I sleep on."

That was enough for Penny and she made her to her bedroom.

After a rather frustrating fifteen minutes Sheldon found a comfortable spot and pulled the blankets up to his chin.

Rolling her eyes Penny pulled back her side of the blankets and layed down beside him and then quickly shuffled over so she was cuddling against him. She rested her head on his shoulder and rested her hand lightly on his chest.

Sheldon did not seem to disapprove this invasion of his sleep space and he wrapped his arm around her waist.

In that moment  Penny realized for all her experience, there was something trully intimate about laying here with Sheldon still fully clothed.

When a little squeak emerged from his nose she realised he had fallen asleep. Smiling Penny thought about what had happened in the past two hours.

This was far from the end, they had some things to talk about and work through and then there was dealing with the reaction from the others.

Not wanting to think about Leonard,  she snuggled closer to Sheldon and drifted into sleep.

End



fan: fic. author: jazzrose343

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