A quieting house as 2016 comes in...
My house is quieting down, a friend leaving after the ball dropped four hours ago. The road is alive with ambulances and sirens- myself and Otter Bucket tell him not to go that way.
We cleaned today, joking that the best way to put a house in order is to throw a party in it. I didn't really know originally if it would be a big party, but protecting myself and my mental health was crucial. We invited only three people, knowing that not only are they some of our closest friends, but also that vaguely know what's been going on. I still have this southern mentality of wanting to be a good hostess, but sometimes, the body can't. I didn't want to throw a big party if we wouldn't have funding and our house was certainly not in order. So we only invited certain people: one's my "sister," telling me she wanted to see me, and we have to talk real Parent Stuff, and another had been his best friend for over a decade. The third is someone I've grown closer to through the years, appreciating her insight and knowing she wouldn't judge my house, even if it wasn't in pristine condition. She'll give me that positive feedback, knowing these aren't her parents, but understanding the mental toll is taken on me. And she plays well with others.
So we cleaned most of the rooms in the house today. Finally organized paperwork, redid the dining room, gave both bathrooms a sorely needed scrubdown. I did laundry, redid the junk drawer, finally started seeing my living room floor. I found mail for January 2013- clearly some things have gone by the wayside since I've been gone and/or working and/or grad schooling. We did the dining room, but stayed in the living room anyway, eating Indian food and playing video games. We periodically talked about serious topics, but mostly stayed away from what's been on my mind. We laughed heartedly at how a Mii turned out.
I frequently would just rub on Fidget's jeaned pant leg, knowing it wouldn't be there in two nights.
Our house is decorated in Christmas cards and random Christmas things I found while cleaning and organizing. No tree up this year, and an absent cat getting presents. It's sad to not hear her meow or jump up while we play video games, but I know she's resilient and I'll see her in two days.
But this house? The one I've organized and compressed and swept and scrubbed? I didn't necessarily want to do it while I was home during this break, but am glad it got done. Maintenance can go forward while I'm gone, gone for we don't know when. Gone for months? Weeks? Will I come back with a cat? A truck? A parent?
You could see my hardwood floors again, the dirt and papers removed. I have things to follow up on when I fly back Saturday, but at least I know I have things to follow up on versus just sitting in a pile and hoping it handles itself. There's nothing on the glass coffee table besides controllers and wine glasses; the rug's finally been vacuumed.
I showered today while my friends were coming in, cleaning the bathroom, but then standing too long in the shower, rinsing off my offending Florida smell. I stood in my shower, the water hot enough to be considered hot, but not hot enough to scald due to the governor in the spigot and us needing our bills low. I washed away the sweat and dirt from cleaning, enjoying my new loofah and remembering the shower stuff I had left up here. Maybe I took a little too long in the shower, maybe I took too long to cool off, but these folks weren't here for me to impress them.
I really need to think what I want out of 2016. I think 2015 tried its best, but it was just ridiculous during the latter half of the year. I can only hope that our situation will be drastically changed by then- my parents will be north, I'll have a license, Fidget will be done school, and we'll have a more congruent and healthy life. Maybe we'll weigh less; maybe we'll be in the throes of wedding planning.
We'll probably still be manically cleaning before people show up- I don't think that'll ever change.
But maybe there'll been more people. Maybe Sadiecat will greet them each as they enter. Maybe we'll have a fancy china plate dinner and put on fancier china-eating-plate clothes...
... but we'll still be here, listening to the booms of Catonsville as 2017 rings in with newer possibilities.