A week from hell, midterms, and more snow...
It's yet another snow day in Catonsville, something I'm somewhat irritated about. I first took off today because of it being spring break and wanting some time to myself to decompress. Naturally, we got enough snow for them to hold out Fidget, so he's home with me. I'm sure I'll make do. I'll just spend today doing research and writing up in the office, then spend most of tomorrow lying on the couch watching The L Word on Netflix.
Last week was probably one of the most miserable weeks I have ever experienced. Almost every facet was in competition with each other. True, it may be what some folks call "Midterms Week," but I think my situation was decidedly more arduous.
After my last post, I spent most of the evening studying for Biopsych. I felt this was going to be a wicked hard test; there were portions of the brain and how did heroin work and who did GABA play with appropriately. Hours upon hours were spent on this subject, thinking it would be the most time-consuming and heavy subject. Sunday was spent at the library with a new friend, studying for Biopsych. We didn't even touch Psychopathology because we thought Biopsych would be ridiculously hard. We studied all day Sunday, dolled up, went to spin, then went to our respective homes and did more studying.
Our phones got cut off at the Starship the Thursday before, so I knew I wouldn't have a lot of work to technically do. While I'm thankful I do have administrative work to take care of, I knew I wouldn't be able to get calls, so spent most of the day trying to cram in the last remaining bits of Biopsych. We also had an all-staff meeting where we were told that Cookie!Pony is our interim CEO and things should be looking up with the no heat/no health insurance issue. I just kept my head down and went to class.
Lifespan went great, seeing as I was able to get the reading done and not look like a dunce. I was worried about the Biopsych midterm after, though.
I shouldn't have been.
That test was a joke. Not a "Oh I'm glad I studied this because it was on the test" but more of a "name the four lobes of the brain." REALLY? We all did that at least in undergrad, if not in A&P in high school. It was a 35-question midterm that I studied for 27 hours for, and there was no mention of the location of things in the brain or how cocaine and heroin worked! Over 100+ slides of information, and that's what we got. FANTASTIC.
I left Monday evening mad. I felt like I have overstudied and was unprepared totally for Psychopathology now.
Oh, and that breast cancer interview I went on? After I thought the interview went well and was totally stoked for the experience, I get an email stating she can't offer me the position because she talked with the director and the program basically won't run over the summer.
THEN WHY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME?
That email came in the middle of Lifespan. Before Biopsych. Monday was a rough evening.
Tuesday, I went to two internship interviews, one at prison and the other at a domestic violence place I'm not too interested in. Totally interested in prison, though, which I find comical. Apparently, my personality meshes well with prison? We shall see. Went to work, still no phones, so did more administrative work and left around 1630 to meet my new friend back at the library to study for Psychopathology. We were there until 2300. My brain just couldn't brain anymore. Fidget was already in bed by the time I got home; I just collapsed next to him, finally crashing from mainlining coffee (which is something I don't do).
Wednesday, I had another internship interview, this time at a DV place I DO want to work at in the city. I drove in Fidget, then battled the inner streets of Baltimore as we had random snow and no plowing in the ghetto. After sliding and skidding a few times, I arrived seven minutes late and profusely apologized. I think the interview went really well, though the only downside is that they're asking for a fall-spring placement. They will not consider one semester, or a summer-fall placement. So my brain was already churning by the time I got to work.
Speaking of work, I figured that since our phones were still off, I'd probably leave around noon and go hole up in the library to finish cramming something in my head before this damned Psychopathology midterm that I wasn't ready for. Instead, my manager comes to my office and says that our phones are turning back on at noon.
Fantástico.
I spent the rest of the day, trying to intermittently study for the midterm but needing to work as I had harried clients calling and asking why our phones had been off for almost a week. Wrapped up in my Ravens sherpa, I sat there with cold fingers and tried my best to stay positive.
When I try to get to campus, there is no parking, so end up parking in the farthest parking lot so I have to take a shuttle. Finally taking the shuttle, I realize that there is no time to get coffee. This makes me angrier at Biopsych from two nights ago and my job for not having heat. I am becoming a very angry Pooh bear.
The midterm went horribly. Most of our classmates walking out looked like we had shellshock. The smarter folks in the class even had no idea what was going on. I have no idea how to gage how I did, but I know that exam is 31% of my grade so am hoping I did somewhat decent, if that's even possible, since there aren't a lot of opportunities to earn points in that class. Additionally, the woman who teaches it is my advisor, so here I am trying to present not only as a clinician, but a motivated student, and I bomb the midterm? FAILSAUCE.
I go into PPP afterwards, still in shock, still mad. Can't quite wrap my head around what happened, but trying to get my therapy brain back on. I know I haven't read for the past three weeks for this class, but it's therapy and counseling, so I'm able to get by. Plus it's Sensei again, and I think she could tell I was a bit wigged out. Our lab is canceled because our TA is ill, so I troop home, still in stock, still feeling violated by my Psychopathology midterm. I hate everything.
The only good thing to come out of Wednesday was I opened a box that came to my house. I thought it was the cover for my voice recorder, but it was a little heater that Bluejay sent me because she can't believe that we have no heat. This raises my spirits considerably, but I still am too wigged out to converse properly with her. I tell her I love her, but will have to talk to her next week when I'm more friendly.
Thursday, I take Fidget in, then drive back to my unheated, uninsured place of employment. We're getting emails now that payroll may be delayed from Friday. Awesomesauce. Bluejay's heater cannot compete with the ice box that is my office; it's only warming up about a foot in front of it. I'm sitting wrapped in my Ravens sherpa, wearing my father's old fleece jacket, my heavy winter coat, and just being absolutely miserable. I leave at my normal time, email Sensei and say I'll meet her tomorrow, then get a text that payroll will definitely be held until Monday. I sit in a Target parking lot and yell towards my father for a half hour because I Have Had Enough. I tell Fidget that we're getting BBQ and I'm eating a brownie and EFF THIS WEEK.
We eat excellent BBQ, I get some dessert, and end up crashing on my sweet couch at 2115. Fidget tries to wake me up, but I stay sleeping there until 0045, finally crawling into bed. I sleep until 0600 and it is glorious and awesome.
I spend Friday bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I drive in Fidget, then hunker down at Muzume. I research, shoot off emails, and be way too productive. I run for thirty minutes, and while I'm upset about my timed mile (15:30), I realize I haven't run in two months and my shoes are crap. I shower in their too-hot shower, get some sushi, meet with Sensei, and keep researching until it's time to get coffee, cigarettes, and Fidget to go to a show downtown. I'm noticeably more chipper, which makes my Aspie walrus more chipper. He had been gretsy throughout the week; while my father is a weathervane and will get angry because you're angry, Fidget will just shut down. I can tell he's miserable, but he's not going to tell me he's miserable since he realizes there's nothing I can do when I'm under that acute amount of stress. We come together Friday evening, joking in the cold, eating awesome pizza we had a coupon for, and seeing his friend's band. I make friends, as I do, and talk with the singer about the next show. I dance and drink too much, and we put our liquor on my credit card because we needed this time. Fidget covers us, we get armbands, and go into more clubs where they play Juvenile and our newfound friend rides a mechanical bull. Fidget drinks too much and I drive us home, where we collapse in our bed at 0145. It's an awesome evening.
I wake up at 0830 the next morning, don my spin clothes, and spin down in Glen Burnie, then stopping to see Fran and Mike. We talk about the ridiculousness of my week as I try to stretch out my thighs and knees. I bundle back up and head home, originally thinking that we are going to Essex to see Aunt Penny, but Fidget is Not Well. We spend the day napping; I wake up at 1830 on the couch, all bent up in various positions. We pack up, get some pizza from Pizza John's, then spend the night at MFNJ's. We sleep in her bigger-than-ours bed, and I have weird, weird dreams. We load back up, try to get tacos, fail, then head down to Edgewater to see his best bud and so I can interview his mom for Lifespan. We're home by 1830 in individual rooms. We like each other better. I can like him better. Everything is awesome. We watch True Detective and I eat mousse cake, knowing I have to eat all the chocolate things before Wednesday. We snuggle on the couch, then go to bed around 2300 because we don't know what he'll have to deal with tomorrow due to the snow coming.
We sleep in, he's held out, and now we're here. I'm going to smoke, possibly make something to eat, and then do a lot of research. I understand they may not have been the best coping skills I could've exhibited, but the heavy nights of drinking and dancing were just what I needed.
I continue to be thankful for Fidget; he'll hold down this fort when I can't and he'll support me when I'm mad. And he's my walrus and I love the living crap out of him...
... even if he is home on my day off!
Last week was probably one of the most miserable weeks I have ever experienced. Almost every facet was in competition with each other. True, it may be what some folks call "Midterms Week," but I think my situation was decidedly more arduous.
After my last post, I spent most of the evening studying for Biopsych. I felt this was going to be a wicked hard test; there were portions of the brain and how did heroin work and who did GABA play with appropriately. Hours upon hours were spent on this subject, thinking it would be the most time-consuming and heavy subject. Sunday was spent at the library with a new friend, studying for Biopsych. We didn't even touch Psychopathology because we thought Biopsych would be ridiculously hard. We studied all day Sunday, dolled up, went to spin, then went to our respective homes and did more studying.
Our phones got cut off at the Starship the Thursday before, so I knew I wouldn't have a lot of work to technically do. While I'm thankful I do have administrative work to take care of, I knew I wouldn't be able to get calls, so spent most of the day trying to cram in the last remaining bits of Biopsych. We also had an all-staff meeting where we were told that Cookie!Pony is our interim CEO and things should be looking up with the no heat/no health insurance issue. I just kept my head down and went to class.
Lifespan went great, seeing as I was able to get the reading done and not look like a dunce. I was worried about the Biopsych midterm after, though.
I shouldn't have been.
That test was a joke. Not a "Oh I'm glad I studied this because it was on the test" but more of a "name the four lobes of the brain." REALLY? We all did that at least in undergrad, if not in A&P in high school. It was a 35-question midterm that I studied for 27 hours for, and there was no mention of the location of things in the brain or how cocaine and heroin worked! Over 100+ slides of information, and that's what we got. FANTASTIC.
I left Monday evening mad. I felt like I have overstudied and was unprepared totally for Psychopathology now.
Oh, and that breast cancer interview I went on? After I thought the interview went well and was totally stoked for the experience, I get an email stating she can't offer me the position because she talked with the director and the program basically won't run over the summer.
THEN WHY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME?
That email came in the middle of Lifespan. Before Biopsych. Monday was a rough evening.
Tuesday, I went to two internship interviews, one at prison and the other at a domestic violence place I'm not too interested in. Totally interested in prison, though, which I find comical. Apparently, my personality meshes well with prison? We shall see. Went to work, still no phones, so did more administrative work and left around 1630 to meet my new friend back at the library to study for Psychopathology. We were there until 2300. My brain just couldn't brain anymore. Fidget was already in bed by the time I got home; I just collapsed next to him, finally crashing from mainlining coffee (which is something I don't do).
Wednesday, I had another internship interview, this time at a DV place I DO want to work at in the city. I drove in Fidget, then battled the inner streets of Baltimore as we had random snow and no plowing in the ghetto. After sliding and skidding a few times, I arrived seven minutes late and profusely apologized. I think the interview went really well, though the only downside is that they're asking for a fall-spring placement. They will not consider one semester, or a summer-fall placement. So my brain was already churning by the time I got to work.
Speaking of work, I figured that since our phones were still off, I'd probably leave around noon and go hole up in the library to finish cramming something in my head before this damned Psychopathology midterm that I wasn't ready for. Instead, my manager comes to my office and says that our phones are turning back on at noon.
Fantástico.
I spent the rest of the day, trying to intermittently study for the midterm but needing to work as I had harried clients calling and asking why our phones had been off for almost a week. Wrapped up in my Ravens sherpa, I sat there with cold fingers and tried my best to stay positive.
When I try to get to campus, there is no parking, so end up parking in the farthest parking lot so I have to take a shuttle. Finally taking the shuttle, I realize that there is no time to get coffee. This makes me angrier at Biopsych from two nights ago and my job for not having heat. I am becoming a very angry Pooh bear.
The midterm went horribly. Most of our classmates walking out looked like we had shellshock. The smarter folks in the class even had no idea what was going on. I have no idea how to gage how I did, but I know that exam is 31% of my grade so am hoping I did somewhat decent, if that's even possible, since there aren't a lot of opportunities to earn points in that class. Additionally, the woman who teaches it is my advisor, so here I am trying to present not only as a clinician, but a motivated student, and I bomb the midterm? FAILSAUCE.
I go into PPP afterwards, still in shock, still mad. Can't quite wrap my head around what happened, but trying to get my therapy brain back on. I know I haven't read for the past three weeks for this class, but it's therapy and counseling, so I'm able to get by. Plus it's Sensei again, and I think she could tell I was a bit wigged out. Our lab is canceled because our TA is ill, so I troop home, still in stock, still feeling violated by my Psychopathology midterm. I hate everything.
The only good thing to come out of Wednesday was I opened a box that came to my house. I thought it was the cover for my voice recorder, but it was a little heater that Bluejay sent me because she can't believe that we have no heat. This raises my spirits considerably, but I still am too wigged out to converse properly with her. I tell her I love her, but will have to talk to her next week when I'm more friendly.
Thursday, I take Fidget in, then drive back to my unheated, uninsured place of employment. We're getting emails now that payroll may be delayed from Friday. Awesomesauce. Bluejay's heater cannot compete with the ice box that is my office; it's only warming up about a foot in front of it. I'm sitting wrapped in my Ravens sherpa, wearing my father's old fleece jacket, my heavy winter coat, and just being absolutely miserable. I leave at my normal time, email Sensei and say I'll meet her tomorrow, then get a text that payroll will definitely be held until Monday. I sit in a Target parking lot and yell towards my father for a half hour because I Have Had Enough. I tell Fidget that we're getting BBQ and I'm eating a brownie and EFF THIS WEEK.
We eat excellent BBQ, I get some dessert, and end up crashing on my sweet couch at 2115. Fidget tries to wake me up, but I stay sleeping there until 0045, finally crawling into bed. I sleep until 0600 and it is glorious and awesome.
I spend Friday bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I drive in Fidget, then hunker down at Muzume. I research, shoot off emails, and be way too productive. I run for thirty minutes, and while I'm upset about my timed mile (15:30), I realize I haven't run in two months and my shoes are crap. I shower in their too-hot shower, get some sushi, meet with Sensei, and keep researching until it's time to get coffee, cigarettes, and Fidget to go to a show downtown. I'm noticeably more chipper, which makes my Aspie walrus more chipper. He had been gretsy throughout the week; while my father is a weathervane and will get angry because you're angry, Fidget will just shut down. I can tell he's miserable, but he's not going to tell me he's miserable since he realizes there's nothing I can do when I'm under that acute amount of stress. We come together Friday evening, joking in the cold, eating awesome pizza we had a coupon for, and seeing his friend's band. I make friends, as I do, and talk with the singer about the next show. I dance and drink too much, and we put our liquor on my credit card because we needed this time. Fidget covers us, we get armbands, and go into more clubs where they play Juvenile and our newfound friend rides a mechanical bull. Fidget drinks too much and I drive us home, where we collapse in our bed at 0145. It's an awesome evening.
I wake up at 0830 the next morning, don my spin clothes, and spin down in Glen Burnie, then stopping to see Fran and Mike. We talk about the ridiculousness of my week as I try to stretch out my thighs and knees. I bundle back up and head home, originally thinking that we are going to Essex to see Aunt Penny, but Fidget is Not Well. We spend the day napping; I wake up at 1830 on the couch, all bent up in various positions. We pack up, get some pizza from Pizza John's, then spend the night at MFNJ's. We sleep in her bigger-than-ours bed, and I have weird, weird dreams. We load back up, try to get tacos, fail, then head down to Edgewater to see his best bud and so I can interview his mom for Lifespan. We're home by 1830 in individual rooms. We like each other better. I can like him better. Everything is awesome. We watch True Detective and I eat mousse cake, knowing I have to eat all the chocolate things before Wednesday. We snuggle on the couch, then go to bed around 2300 because we don't know what he'll have to deal with tomorrow due to the snow coming.
We sleep in, he's held out, and now we're here. I'm going to smoke, possibly make something to eat, and then do a lot of research. I understand they may not have been the best coping skills I could've exhibited, but the heavy nights of drinking and dancing were just what I needed.
I continue to be thankful for Fidget; he'll hold down this fort when I can't and he'll support me when I'm mad. And he's my walrus and I love the living crap out of him...
... even if he is home on my day off!