Quotas were filled, and roles had to be played...
I am protective and territorial. I am highly pompous and self-righteous. I subscribe to a Box Theory which places people in roles. I expect them to subscribe by their roles. In general, people may not like it, but it's how I roll. It's how I function. It's how I can keep track of what's going on with whom and who I have spoken with. It's being able to prioritize, understand, and pontificate about what's going on.
I was offended in this matter very recently when someone didn't know their role in my life, and tried to assume the responsibilities of others. People have very specific functions, quotas that they have to fill. I will never have an in-depth philosophy conversation with Hustla; that goes to Trips. I will never talk about puppies with Shink; that goes to Caterpillar. I will not talk about sex with MNFJ; that goes to Otter Bucket.
Smurf asks the hard questions. Hunny yells at me. Kayrin listens when I yell.
Do not assume you know me. Do not assume I need to be coddled. Do not assume to know how I am feeling.
It's evil how I put people in roles, and I understand that, and it can be offensive, fine. But do not assume you will be my Omega. Do not assume you know what I am doing or how I am doing.
I'm dissociative by nature, and the Box Theory demonstrates that. It helps with my family, my friends, and it is particularly helpful with my line of work. You have to be able to squash it down in order to deal with the amount of bullshit I deal with on a daily basis. You have to be able to be close enough to be empathic but far enough away that you don't lose your damned mind.
I'm a straightforward person. I will tell you exactly how I feel, why I'm feeling it, and how it's going to happen. It may not be what you want, but it will never lead you astray.Yeah she don't stop
She working' it all about
She moves it around the clock
And she can get it, she can get it
Don't quit, the way that she moves it
She's making me lose my grip
And she can get it, she can get it
I dodged Shink for the better part of a year about my feelings for him. He knew and he pressed me, but he didn't force it. Even he knew his damned role.
There are no still waters here that run deep. I will show you my valleys and deep rivets freely; I have no fear of that. I am reflective and I am intuitive and I know things, but do not assume you are going to figure me out. I've had myself figured out for the past sixteen years; there's really nothing deep anybody could show me at this point which would make me go, "Huh."
To ask if Hustla convinced me it was easier to be submissive is offensive. No one convinces me of anything when it comes to sex. Also, Hustla has about six inches on me, so I'm going to default to him, though that's really not anybody's business but mine and his.
To ask if I'm depressed because Sausage hasn't given me a direct answer is offensive. In actuality, I hadn't even thought of Sausage for today since my LIFE was SHIT, and in compliance with my Box Theory, I was trying to process it before thinking about getting into a proper space to even contemplate anything about him.She knows just what she likes
No matter what the price
She got me hurtin' bad, perfect tan, working' out
Looks like a million cash, well let me fill your glass
And there was money in the bed
I simply wanted to inform of other options on the table since what was going on was not exclusive. It wasn't closed. It wasn't anything. Castles and flags are merely a means to an end. Maybe that makes me a whore. Maybe others won't like that. But I know what it is, and I haven't "truly" experienced it since Beb. Which was FOUR years ago.
Just another story in my life.
You know, I had a FANTABULOUS birthday. It was awesome. There was bacon and beer, and sly flirting and fruity drinks. There were pokes and half-lidded eyes and knowing smiles. It was different, similar to what I once had without the Game or the power or the bullshit. I like the Game, but this is new and not all crayzee. Maybe there could be balance to my bold and brazen ways.
The fact that I was thrust upward by my crotch by Tuna Can Man and then Penn and Teller got some action from a lady at the bar wasn't too bad either.
He doesn't know how to deal with me, and that's fine. And he's passive aggressive, whereas I'm over-aggressive, and that's fine. It's confusing me because I don't read men well, or at least not men I'm interested in.
Orangeade told me to "embrace the hussy."
Tuna Can Man told me explicit things I shouldn't even write here.
Shink called me a pussy.
So, fine. I will find my role. I will show you things. I will have this fucking town. I will find what I need, and someone who will provide it to me. If I need to be aggressive with a man, I will switch my own Southern belle switch and GET IT.
I'm in it to win it.Turn around and cut you in a blink of an eye
Yeah you know she always get what she wants (HELL YEAH)
And yeah it's so amazing how she's putting me down
Is this love, is this love, is this love? (huh)
There is this ire which just fucking flipped. I am fucking IRATE. I haven't been this jazzed about stupid bullshit in awhile. To have the AUDACITY is simply mind-boggling.
I'm an addict, and I understand that. Not only due to my history, but my behavior is still highly addictive. A bottle of pills, the sweet taste of liqueur. I know my drug of choice, I know how to handle myself, I don't need a fucking babysitter and no more Twelve Steps. So, fucking goad me on...
... let me show you where it leads you.
I was offended in this matter very recently when someone didn't know their role in my life, and tried to assume the responsibilities of others. People have very specific functions, quotas that they have to fill. I will never have an in-depth philosophy conversation with Hustla; that goes to Trips. I will never talk about puppies with Shink; that goes to Caterpillar. I will not talk about sex with MNFJ; that goes to Otter Bucket.
Smurf asks the hard questions. Hunny yells at me. Kayrin listens when I yell.
Do not assume you know me. Do not assume I need to be coddled. Do not assume to know how I am feeling.
It's evil how I put people in roles, and I understand that, and it can be offensive, fine. But do not assume you will be my Omega. Do not assume you know what I am doing or how I am doing.
I'm dissociative by nature, and the Box Theory demonstrates that. It helps with my family, my friends, and it is particularly helpful with my line of work. You have to be able to squash it down in order to deal with the amount of bullshit I deal with on a daily basis. You have to be able to be close enough to be empathic but far enough away that you don't lose your damned mind.
I'm a straightforward person. I will tell you exactly how I feel, why I'm feeling it, and how it's going to happen. It may not be what you want, but it will never lead you astray.Yeah she don't stop
She working' it all about
She moves it around the clock
And she can get it, she can get it
Don't quit, the way that she moves it
She's making me lose my grip
And she can get it, she can get it
I dodged Shink for the better part of a year about my feelings for him. He knew and he pressed me, but he didn't force it. Even he knew his damned role.
There are no still waters here that run deep. I will show you my valleys and deep rivets freely; I have no fear of that. I am reflective and I am intuitive and I know things, but do not assume you are going to figure me out. I've had myself figured out for the past sixteen years; there's really nothing deep anybody could show me at this point which would make me go, "Huh."
To ask if Hustla convinced me it was easier to be submissive is offensive. No one convinces me of anything when it comes to sex. Also, Hustla has about six inches on me, so I'm going to default to him, though that's really not anybody's business but mine and his.
To ask if I'm depressed because Sausage hasn't given me a direct answer is offensive. In actuality, I hadn't even thought of Sausage for today since my LIFE was SHIT, and in compliance with my Box Theory, I was trying to process it before thinking about getting into a proper space to even contemplate anything about him.She knows just what she likes
No matter what the price
She got me hurtin' bad, perfect tan, working' out
Looks like a million cash, well let me fill your glass
And there was money in the bed
I simply wanted to inform of other options on the table since what was going on was not exclusive. It wasn't closed. It wasn't anything. Castles and flags are merely a means to an end. Maybe that makes me a whore. Maybe others won't like that. But I know what it is, and I haven't "truly" experienced it since Beb. Which was FOUR years ago.
Just another story in my life.
You know, I had a FANTABULOUS birthday. It was awesome. There was bacon and beer, and sly flirting and fruity drinks. There were pokes and half-lidded eyes and knowing smiles. It was different, similar to what I once had without the Game or the power or the bullshit. I like the Game, but this is new and not all crayzee. Maybe there could be balance to my bold and brazen ways.
The fact that I was thrust upward by my crotch by Tuna Can Man and then Penn and Teller got some action from a lady at the bar wasn't too bad either.
He doesn't know how to deal with me, and that's fine. And he's passive aggressive, whereas I'm over-aggressive, and that's fine. It's confusing me because I don't read men well, or at least not men I'm interested in.
Orangeade told me to "embrace the hussy."
Tuna Can Man told me explicit things I shouldn't even write here.
Shink called me a pussy.
So, fine. I will find my role. I will show you things. I will have this fucking town. I will find what I need, and someone who will provide it to me. If I need to be aggressive with a man, I will switch my own Southern belle switch and GET IT.
I'm in it to win it.Turn around and cut you in a blink of an eye
Yeah you know she always get what she wants (HELL YEAH)
And yeah it's so amazing how she's putting me down
Is this love, is this love, is this love? (huh)
There is this ire which just fucking flipped. I am fucking IRATE. I haven't been this jazzed about stupid bullshit in awhile. To have the AUDACITY is simply mind-boggling.
I'm an addict, and I understand that. Not only due to my history, but my behavior is still highly addictive. A bottle of pills, the sweet taste of liqueur. I know my drug of choice, I know how to handle myself, I don't need a fucking babysitter and no more Twelve Steps. So, fucking goad me on...
... let me show you where it leads you.