Insomnia
The internet really is the worst and the best thing to happen to insomnia that I've ever encountered. Rather than trying to get to sleep, I can instead rely upon the vast amounts of information available at my fingertips. To boot, I'm competent enough with finding my way around it that I can track almost anything I want down with enough time and tenacity. Like a roommate's Livejournal name. Or a high school friend's current address and phone number.
And why do I do this? Well, one, paranoia. I have this bizarre need to watch my surroundings and keep track of them incredibly, out of some strange sense that such is necessary. Maybe if things actually acted as strange as they feel to me, I'd be more at ease with the state of the world. The other reason is my rampant addiction to information. I have looked up too many obscure actors on IMDB to claim it as anything but. And Wikipedia? It is like crack, only to smoke it, you need a computer, not a pipe made out of tinfoil and desperation.
And in the end, I have merely killed time. I have learned a little, but not too much. But I have burned away three hours of my life in the pursuit of information, because it was better than lying in my bed and staring at my ceiling until unconsciousness finally came.
I wonder why, when I dream, it's always nightmares that I have.
And why do I do this? Well, one, paranoia. I have this bizarre need to watch my surroundings and keep track of them incredibly, out of some strange sense that such is necessary. Maybe if things actually acted as strange as they feel to me, I'd be more at ease with the state of the world. The other reason is my rampant addiction to information. I have looked up too many obscure actors on IMDB to claim it as anything but. And Wikipedia? It is like crack, only to smoke it, you need a computer, not a pipe made out of tinfoil and desperation.
And in the end, I have merely killed time. I have learned a little, but not too much. But I have burned away three hours of my life in the pursuit of information, because it was better than lying in my bed and staring at my ceiling until unconsciousness finally came.
I wonder why, when I dream, it's always nightmares that I have.