Taking the time off, healthily...
I've taken to not giving a fuck about any of this. I have my nightly sweet, ice cream with soda. Eat healthy during the day, then put ice cream in a coffee cup and enjoy the sweet slurry that results. I try to eat my vegetables and do healthy meal planning, but then I swing through Arby's because I want those damned curly fries.
It's so complicated- the whole healthy living, work-mind-life balance is frustrating. I find myself wondering if I will be a hypocrite if a client comes in wanting to lose weight. Since I have lost it previously, I know it can be done but I am more caught up in my mother's rehab, my father's weird body issues, how many hours am I working, what really happened in my partner's group project? Previously healthy eating blogs have fallen by the wayside as my free time is occupied with articles about clutter-free living and how to achieve some sense of order in my life.
Do I miss woggling? I remember I felt particularly proud of myself when I woggled during Covered Bridge weekend. I remember reading the science behind knowing which combinations fuel the body better and how to make more options, plan properly, and live better. I remember those times.
But now? While I still struggle with a pinched nerve and pain killers, hoping this will change my life around to finally make it more bearable, I have pretty much given 2015 a pass. I no longer am concerned about the weight issues; it infuriates me that my clothes no longer fit, where I was so stubborn that "I wouldn't go back" that I gave my professional clothes away. I know I need to rebuild my wardrobe and work on more professional clothing if I will be re-entering that world. But right now? I can't even begin to process that.
So, give the body and mind space. I'll work on decluttering and organizing, hoping that 2016 will treat me much better than 2015 will. Maybe I will be thinner by the time that wedding rolls around in June. Maybe I'll be happier. Maybe my parents will have finally moved. There are so many maybes. I think that's the reason I gave this up for awhile- I couldn't handle the maybes anymore. I needed to make as much money as possible, so I worked on that aspect and the healthy living fell by the wayside.
It'll come back. I'll be able to balance more. But right now, I'll keep eating my ice cream and soda slurry...
... it's a bad coping skill, but providing comfort all at the same time.
It's so complicated- the whole healthy living, work-mind-life balance is frustrating. I find myself wondering if I will be a hypocrite if a client comes in wanting to lose weight. Since I have lost it previously, I know it can be done but I am more caught up in my mother's rehab, my father's weird body issues, how many hours am I working, what really happened in my partner's group project? Previously healthy eating blogs have fallen by the wayside as my free time is occupied with articles about clutter-free living and how to achieve some sense of order in my life.
Do I miss woggling? I remember I felt particularly proud of myself when I woggled during Covered Bridge weekend. I remember reading the science behind knowing which combinations fuel the body better and how to make more options, plan properly, and live better. I remember those times.
But now? While I still struggle with a pinched nerve and pain killers, hoping this will change my life around to finally make it more bearable, I have pretty much given 2015 a pass. I no longer am concerned about the weight issues; it infuriates me that my clothes no longer fit, where I was so stubborn that "I wouldn't go back" that I gave my professional clothes away. I know I need to rebuild my wardrobe and work on more professional clothing if I will be re-entering that world. But right now? I can't even begin to process that.
So, give the body and mind space. I'll work on decluttering and organizing, hoping that 2016 will treat me much better than 2015 will. Maybe I will be thinner by the time that wedding rolls around in June. Maybe I'll be happier. Maybe my parents will have finally moved. There are so many maybes. I think that's the reason I gave this up for awhile- I couldn't handle the maybes anymore. I needed to make as much money as possible, so I worked on that aspect and the healthy living fell by the wayside.
It'll come back. I'll be able to balance more. But right now, I'll keep eating my ice cream and soda slurry...
... it's a bad coping skill, but providing comfort all at the same time.