bittersweet
I whiped out my computer. Restarted windows. I love it.
Downloaded a new everything, new windows, new itunes, new windows media player, and it's all so clean and great! My internet is working, my videos are working.
the only bad thing is that I have not really wanted to leave my computer much in the past 24 hours... and discovered the magic of watching videos on youtube and such.
I went to snooty fox last night with Brittany and Erica and found myself quite emotional, although I didn't let myself cry, even though I felt it. You know that feeling when something is down there and you should cry but you try to think to yourself that you really shouldn't? I haven't cried in a while, and you need a good cry every once in a while.
In the last post I talked about my placement and how I hadn't cried yet. That was my biggest worry with a pediatric placement, was that I would get emotional. Especially having it be an acute/critical placement, involving death and extreme illness. When I was watching tv and anything about death came about I just immediately thought about the patients. When I was at the hospital caring for them I wasn't sad about it, but I think the emotions go somewhere else deep down, and come out in different places. On One Tree Hill one of the young basketball players died and when the mother was talking about her son I started bawling my eyes out. Even though the show is corny and unrealistic and overexagerated, I just thought about how many parents lose their children too early. I guess depending on the way they die it can be bittersweet. If it's a long overdrawn illness since birth it's bittersweet when they die because it ends the suffering, and depending on their age they may not even know they are dying or understand what it means. It's harder for the parents.
I know... depressing... I will stop.
Why am I listening to Patsy Cline when I am in this mood?
I can't find the cord for my camera... this makes me sad. I won't be posting pictures until i find it.
Downloaded a new everything, new windows, new itunes, new windows media player, and it's all so clean and great! My internet is working, my videos are working.
the only bad thing is that I have not really wanted to leave my computer much in the past 24 hours... and discovered the magic of watching videos on youtube and such.
I went to snooty fox last night with Brittany and Erica and found myself quite emotional, although I didn't let myself cry, even though I felt it. You know that feeling when something is down there and you should cry but you try to think to yourself that you really shouldn't? I haven't cried in a while, and you need a good cry every once in a while.
In the last post I talked about my placement and how I hadn't cried yet. That was my biggest worry with a pediatric placement, was that I would get emotional. Especially having it be an acute/critical placement, involving death and extreme illness. When I was watching tv and anything about death came about I just immediately thought about the patients. When I was at the hospital caring for them I wasn't sad about it, but I think the emotions go somewhere else deep down, and come out in different places. On One Tree Hill one of the young basketball players died and when the mother was talking about her son I started bawling my eyes out. Even though the show is corny and unrealistic and overexagerated, I just thought about how many parents lose their children too early. I guess depending on the way they die it can be bittersweet. If it's a long overdrawn illness since birth it's bittersweet when they die because it ends the suffering, and depending on their age they may not even know they are dying or understand what it means. It's harder for the parents.
I know... depressing... I will stop.
Why am I listening to Patsy Cline when I am in this mood?
I can't find the cord for my camera... this makes me sad. I won't be posting pictures until i find it.