Fear and Conquering in Austin and the Austin International Poetry Fest
-I am scared. I hate admitting weekness of any kind. I had an appointment with my surgeon's office today. I was told when I see the surgeon on April 20 that it could be as quick as 2 weeks after that appointment for my surgery. I have never had any surgery in my years on this planet. I am not telling very many people about the surgery. If I know you and you are reading this you have enough interest in me that I don't mind you knowing. I am having a weightloss surgery. Everything in my life I have put the slightest bit of effort into I have had success. Part of it is nature but I do admit part of it is nurture. I have had some fucked up shit happen in my life from murdered friend and family to divorce and I could keep on. Fucked up shit will manifest it self some how. Weight has been my demon. Losing this weight will be a way I can excise some of these demons.
I am scared right now. That is ok. Fear can be fuel for strength. There was a time when I was afraid of heights. What did I do? I bungee jump from 150 ft. Just about the same as a 15 floor building. There was a time when I hated my voice. I felt that my voice made me sound stupid. Hell, I am one of the smartest people I know. I was apprehensive to just engage people in coversation. I was horrible at small talk. What do I do? I get a job working on the air of a news department at a radio station. I can give more examples but I think you see my pattern.
I hate admitting it but I am afraid right now. I have been very confrontational with fear. If I know I fear something I will tackle it. Once I conquer it, it only fuels the strength I have. Regret is a bigger bitch than fear.
-On another note. I am perfroming at the Austin International Poetry Festival next month.
I am scared right now. That is ok. Fear can be fuel for strength. There was a time when I was afraid of heights. What did I do? I bungee jump from 150 ft. Just about the same as a 15 floor building. There was a time when I hated my voice. I felt that my voice made me sound stupid. Hell, I am one of the smartest people I know. I was apprehensive to just engage people in coversation. I was horrible at small talk. What do I do? I get a job working on the air of a news department at a radio station. I can give more examples but I think you see my pattern.
I hate admitting it but I am afraid right now. I have been very confrontational with fear. If I know I fear something I will tackle it. Once I conquer it, it only fuels the strength I have. Regret is a bigger bitch than fear.
-On another note. I am perfroming at the Austin International Poetry Festival next month.