Jan 07, 2007 15:40
I don't really know how to explain the situation.
Attention from guys is a double edged sword for me. It's great, but it gets me into situations that I haven't realized until now.
Every girl likes to be told she's pretty and nice and fun to be around, right? But when it's been lacking for awhile, or it's come from an unwelcome source on a consistent basis, you start to think, "Is there something wrong? Why?" So when it comes back around, you get all excited and really enjoy it and you end up going with it. Standard scenario for every one.
In my case, I go too far......I keep it going because I like to be told nice things about myself, when in reality I shouldn't be continuing the idea (if there is nothing there in return) and of course there are always other factors in play. In short, I become a tease and don't even realize it. It's not that I'm purposely trying to lead people on. Then I realize....wtf r u doing? Stop it! Cut it off.
I think this is weighing on my mind because I am the epitome of the anti-drama, anti-games kind of girl. I don't like them in any way-say what you need to say. spit it out. (It's been hard for me to actually do that, but I've learned and it's the best way for me). But now here I go-playing games. I think of myself as a mature young adult. My thoughts are re-affirmed almost on a daily basis by people around me-then I revert back to high school nonsense? Why?
I thought I'd grown out of this-I want to be able to get to that point. I know that I have to go through it to get me where I want to be, that's just life. But I want it done and over with now!!!