Chicken Run
I'm feeling like the corcodile hunter at my house.
So the avid reader knows, I have decorative chickens running in my backyard. They're decorative only because they are 8 inches tall. We're not going to be throwing any big feasts with them if you get my drift. So, since we can't eat them, we'll feed them until they or myself perish...my money is on me. So we have our standard Huntington Park-Grade Chicken Feed in our back yard for our fine feathered friends. As any well trained exterminator will tell you, vermin will only come if they have food. What could be more delectable to a GIANT RAT than chicken feed?
The hunt is on.
Currently the score is:
Rat : 2
JL : 0
Point one went to the rat when I had to remove the miniature chickens from the glue trap I had placed near the food. It was awful! First it was the hen. I was trying my best to get near enough to help, but the rooster would have none of it. I'm compelled to remind the reader that the chicken was 8 inches tall....anywho... as soon as I got near enough to help, the hen goes crazy and runs away. Meanwhile, the rooster leaps at me to save milady! in defense I, after hours watching the matrix, attempt to bend backwards to avoid the talons going for what I hope was my face. In all honesty, due to the size of the bird, I'm pretty sure my goodies were in peril. I fall on my ass. Stupid deceptive CG! The rooster runs to the hen to console her only to get tangled up in in the trap himself.
I've had enough at this point.
(Dramatic drum roll please)
I run (walk), valiently (hands so far outstretched in front of me I felt like Mr. Fantastic) and wrap (toss) a towel over the chickens and begin the delicate procedure of removing the birds from an obviously failed trap.
The second point to the rat was less harrowing, but once again our avian friends are involved. This time around a sparrow seems to have entrapped itself trying to get at a cockroach which, to date, is the ONLY vermin to actually been caught by this contraption. I tried to get the sparrow out but by the end the wings were of no use. I let it go only to see it run very far away from me. Hopefully to a brighter future. In my head, angels pick it up and take it to a nice bird house where there are assorted nuts and bugs for it to feast on all day. What hopeful ending do you have for this sparrow?
Victory would've been mine if I had done something that one night I made it back and DID see the rat fall into the trap. It was dark and as anyone knows...you never know how many more of the rat posse are hiding in the shadows to lunge at you with their lil knives and chains....I thought I could get it in the morning.
It wasn't there in the morning. Sad...
Well this has gone on longer than i expected this blog to go, so I'll tell the tale of washing the dogs tomorrow. Yep, still no job, but at least I'm getting some funny stories out of it.
It's like I'm in one country when I leave the house, and another when I return.
So the avid reader knows, I have decorative chickens running in my backyard. They're decorative only because they are 8 inches tall. We're not going to be throwing any big feasts with them if you get my drift. So, since we can't eat them, we'll feed them until they or myself perish...my money is on me. So we have our standard Huntington Park-Grade Chicken Feed in our back yard for our fine feathered friends. As any well trained exterminator will tell you, vermin will only come if they have food. What could be more delectable to a GIANT RAT than chicken feed?
The hunt is on.
Currently the score is:
Rat : 2
JL : 0
Point one went to the rat when I had to remove the miniature chickens from the glue trap I had placed near the food. It was awful! First it was the hen. I was trying my best to get near enough to help, but the rooster would have none of it. I'm compelled to remind the reader that the chicken was 8 inches tall....anywho... as soon as I got near enough to help, the hen goes crazy and runs away. Meanwhile, the rooster leaps at me to save milady! in defense I, after hours watching the matrix, attempt to bend backwards to avoid the talons going for what I hope was my face. In all honesty, due to the size of the bird, I'm pretty sure my goodies were in peril. I fall on my ass. Stupid deceptive CG! The rooster runs to the hen to console her only to get tangled up in in the trap himself.
I've had enough at this point.
(Dramatic drum roll please)
I run (walk), valiently (hands so far outstretched in front of me I felt like Mr. Fantastic) and wrap (toss) a towel over the chickens and begin the delicate procedure of removing the birds from an obviously failed trap.
The second point to the rat was less harrowing, but once again our avian friends are involved. This time around a sparrow seems to have entrapped itself trying to get at a cockroach which, to date, is the ONLY vermin to actually been caught by this contraption. I tried to get the sparrow out but by the end the wings were of no use. I let it go only to see it run very far away from me. Hopefully to a brighter future. In my head, angels pick it up and take it to a nice bird house where there are assorted nuts and bugs for it to feast on all day. What hopeful ending do you have for this sparrow?
Victory would've been mine if I had done something that one night I made it back and DID see the rat fall into the trap. It was dark and as anyone knows...you never know how many more of the rat posse are hiding in the shadows to lunge at you with their lil knives and chains....I thought I could get it in the morning.
It wasn't there in the morning. Sad...
Well this has gone on longer than i expected this blog to go, so I'll tell the tale of washing the dogs tomorrow. Yep, still no job, but at least I'm getting some funny stories out of it.
It's like I'm in one country when I leave the house, and another when I return.