Through
So yeah, I'm going to talk to my dean tomorrow to start the process of withdrawal from the Duke Chorale. It was nice to sing, and I love music, but it's nice to sing with any group and I would love music even outside Chorale. I simply don't care about the people in the Chorale, and that's what matters. Friendship is the single greatest obligation I feel that I have to anyone other that myself, and I didn't have that in Chorale. It worries me a bit, though, that I care so little about me leaving Chorale will affect the rest of the ensemble: it doesn't bother me at all. I feel no personal connection to the group, it all feels like a business to me. It's like the businesses you see on sitcoms, where the main character inevitably has a close group of friends, and then there's the boss that is either good at what he does but is dislikable, or is a moron and is dislikable. I'm not the main character nor any of the main character's comrades. I'm a minor character who probably plays some important role in the business but would rather be off fly-fishing or something, except that I don't like to fly-fish. I figure maybe I'm more like Jennifer Aniston's character from Office Space. My boss is certainly a nice guy, and always wants what's best for employees and customers, and isn't a guy that it's easy to yell at or say 'no' to, simply because he always tries to be so civil. My coworkers are the loud, perky type that is all smiles around customers, but probably has some secret hatred (and drinking habits) hiding behind that visage. And I was in it at first for personal gain and happiness (money = happiness, in the Office Space instance), but as the job has gone on, I've cared less and less and now going to work is a non-enjoyable experience I do simply because leaving could be harmful (me = grade, Aniston = source of income). The perks are still there (I love singing) but the intangibles are gone.
The only difference is that I don't have any hot stranger who comes into my life somewhat randomly and, due to being under a relaxing fog of hypnotic apathy, strikes up a relationship with me. I can only wish. That's why I hate teen flicks and TV shows. Girls never actually do that kind of stuff.
Good luck on tour and with the rest of the year, Chorale.
The only difference is that I don't have any hot stranger who comes into my life somewhat randomly and, due to being under a relaxing fog of hypnotic apathy, strikes up a relationship with me. I can only wish. That's why I hate teen flicks and TV shows. Girls never actually do that kind of stuff.
Good luck on tour and with the rest of the year, Chorale.