In Which the Girl Grows Up
How comforting that in the midst of chaos, negativity, and let downs, my peace and strength comes from the One above who loves me. He is faithful. He is my crutch and my rock upon which I stand.
Eventually, whether we like it or not, we grow up.
I used to be a girl, a selfish and insecure girl. Her mind consisted of boys and romance, video games and TV shows. Growing came very slowly. Each year seemed the same. I didn't see any personal growth, or spiritual growth. I was stagnant, despite my physical growth and changes. I gave my parents hell. I did poorly in school. I was a blatant hypocrite.
Then I went to college, and then I started to grow. Not too fast, but I was growing, leaning to stand on my own two feet and realize who I really was outside of my home. I learned how to compromise, I learned how to seek God when you don't have parents nagging you to wake up for service.
Then sophomore year was when the ish hit the fan, the say the least. LOL Surprisingly, sort of. God really began to work in me, helping me be more bold in my faith, seeking Him more and more, and more of You and less of me. It keeps escalating. There was a prayer conference, I opened up to the more elder women at church. Mid second semester, going to Compton/downtown Los Angeles impacted me more than I thought it would. It exposed me to different people and cultures, and God really, really showed me His love for everyone. Truly. The feeling inside...I cannot describe it. I was filled with this love, this love for the homeless, the broken hearted, for this world. And He showed me how important prayer is. It can make or break your day.
So from the many times God shows or teaches me something, there is always an application, or follow up. Will I practice what I learned? Will I take the extra step to read His Word daily? Devotedly? I did. My sole, I took the plunge and it's been a zippidee doo da ride ever since. I finally, FINALLY began to discipline myself and read it every day. I mean there was like, one day a week where I didn't have enough time, but God is gracious and understanding. He was coo with it. Man I love Him.
Through this, I find myself wanting to be more of an encouragement, a vessel used to bless others. Following the example of my mother, I like to feed people. And every day, I am still fighting against my selfish self. Lord, more of You and less of me!!!!
My counselor/friend from way back in high school, Alison, has been going through a rough time with her mother having cancer (please keep her in your prayers). And when I saw her at work, just crying, my heart went out to her, so I dragged her into the conference room and prayed.
God what have you done
What have you done for me
TO me
She tells me today,
"i've seen you grow a lot in the last 2 years
much different than when you were in xroads
(I say: orly)
yeah you have
it's a bit odd
that you talk to me differently now
it's unusual
me: LOL I DO?
HOW
Alison: well
more like an adult
before ... it was mostly
DQ jasmine
silly jasmine
2:57 AM still comes out
of course
because that's you
i think that other times
but you have your moments of adult-ness
when you offered to pray for me
that was a very encouraging thing
2:58 AM because i felt that it had come full circle
Alison: you know, from the times i counseled you way back when ...
And that's the beauty of it. Even when I've hurt her because of my selfish emoness, God HEALS and makes things so, so new. He makes it beautiful. He's enhanced our friendship and made it grow, and I am so, so thankful for it.
Father, thank you for changing me and making me new.
Eventually, whether we like it or not, we grow up.
I used to be a girl, a selfish and insecure girl. Her mind consisted of boys and romance, video games and TV shows. Growing came very slowly. Each year seemed the same. I didn't see any personal growth, or spiritual growth. I was stagnant, despite my physical growth and changes. I gave my parents hell. I did poorly in school. I was a blatant hypocrite.
Then I went to college, and then I started to grow. Not too fast, but I was growing, leaning to stand on my own two feet and realize who I really was outside of my home. I learned how to compromise, I learned how to seek God when you don't have parents nagging you to wake up for service.
Then sophomore year was when the ish hit the fan, the say the least. LOL Surprisingly, sort of. God really began to work in me, helping me be more bold in my faith, seeking Him more and more, and more of You and less of me. It keeps escalating. There was a prayer conference, I opened up to the more elder women at church. Mid second semester, going to Compton/downtown Los Angeles impacted me more than I thought it would. It exposed me to different people and cultures, and God really, really showed me His love for everyone. Truly. The feeling inside...I cannot describe it. I was filled with this love, this love for the homeless, the broken hearted, for this world. And He showed me how important prayer is. It can make or break your day.
So from the many times God shows or teaches me something, there is always an application, or follow up. Will I practice what I learned? Will I take the extra step to read His Word daily? Devotedly? I did. My sole, I took the plunge and it's been a zippidee doo da ride ever since. I finally, FINALLY began to discipline myself and read it every day. I mean there was like, one day a week where I didn't have enough time, but God is gracious and understanding. He was coo with it. Man I love Him.
Through this, I find myself wanting to be more of an encouragement, a vessel used to bless others. Following the example of my mother, I like to feed people. And every day, I am still fighting against my selfish self. Lord, more of You and less of me!!!!
My counselor/friend from way back in high school, Alison, has been going through a rough time with her mother having cancer (please keep her in your prayers). And when I saw her at work, just crying, my heart went out to her, so I dragged her into the conference room and prayed.
God what have you done
What have you done for me
TO me
She tells me today,
"i've seen you grow a lot in the last 2 years
much different than when you were in xroads
(I say: orly)
yeah you have
it's a bit odd
that you talk to me differently now
it's unusual
me: LOL I DO?
HOW
Alison: well
more like an adult
before ... it was mostly
DQ jasmine
silly jasmine
2:57 AM still comes out
of course
because that's you
i think that other times
but you have your moments of adult-ness
when you offered to pray for me
that was a very encouraging thing
2:58 AM because i felt that it had come full circle
Alison: you know, from the times i counseled you way back when ...
And that's the beauty of it. Even when I've hurt her because of my selfish emoness, God HEALS and makes things so, so new. He makes it beautiful. He's enhanced our friendship and made it grow, and I am so, so thankful for it.
Father, thank you for changing me and making me new.