(no subject)
I totaled my car. All i could do was sit for an hour on the side of Front St. screaming 'thats my fucking car." and it was. 40 mph directly towards the side of a pickup truck. i never heard back from the two girls who were in the car. we were the only 3 white people on the whole street. they disappeared, i felt completely lonely in our predominantly white society sitting on the side of the street next to my shattered car, shattered dreams, screaming 'oh my fucking god.' i just know ill get their medical bills in a couple weeks. i couldnt feel a thing, the next morning i could barely move as every bone in my body ached and 50% of my body was bruised. i got 2 distinct items out of my car. my birth certificate and a couple pictures of my childhood. couldnt even find my license. in that moment, i didnt need to be held, i didnt need to be helped, i needed to let go. so many near misses, i felt invincable, you never are. This is all i needed because each day since i have just looked in the mirror and the same thought runs through my head every single time. 'i could be dead.' one detail different, but theres some reason im here.
one detail.
one detail.