I am so jealous
This girl on my Facebook had a baby a month ago and already fits back into her clothes. I wish that was me, I miss being able to wear mine and some are really cute summer clothes that I never got to wear too. But she had a picture up saying she was playing dressup. Blah. I want my clothes.
Speaking of losing weight, my thyroid was checked and it's perfectly normal. So that couldn't explain why I wasn't losing. Then someone mentioned I may not be eating enough calories. I could be eating 1200 a day but if I exercised off 300 then I need to eat 300 more so my net is about 1200. So I signed up for myfitnesspal and the past few days every single day I've lost some weight. Yay. I over ate yesterday though but I read that it's good to do that every once in a while so your body keeps guessing. Which I guess it works because I was 171.2 yesterday and 170.8 this morning. Woo! Now I have 15 lbs to lose to make weight and 20 till my pre-pregnancy weight. I might try to get lower than that, but right now I just want to get to my pre-pregnancy weight. So, yes, I feel good.
Dh and I finally set up the little gym in our garage, so later tonight I'll probably go out there and run. Though I think I'll wait till he's home so he can watch the baby. Or just skip it all together since we're going to start the insanity tapes tonight.
The baby is definitely going to daycare tomorrow and the next day. Tomorrow I want to food shop and clean and Wednesday I have a dentist appointment so it'll just be easier to put him in daycare since you're not allowed to bring your baby with you. And it's cavities I have to get done I'm sure so I'd rather get some rest after that.
I think I'm going to start waking up at 4am while I'm on leave to go run on the treadmill. Dh leaves for work at 5:30 am so I don't want to start too late and have no one watch the baby. Then I want to start waking him up at 4:30am or about again (got lazy over the weekend) so he stays used to his schedule.
The baby is going to the dr today. He's spitting up too much and I'm tired of trying to guess which formula will be the best. The dr can tell me. We're pretty sure he has acid reflux. He was even spitting up clear fluid 4 hours after he ate this weekend. That's something new. So we'll see.
I finally decided to not use this website that I've been going to since 2006 for military spouses. I don't know, people are just pissing me off on it because they're just getting rude. I was talking about the baby's problems and they're acting like they're drs and he has nothing. Yea, come over here and see or shut up. or I was asking where to go to get the carseat checked and one lady asked if we didn't trust ourselves to install it. Uh, if it doesn't seem right I'm not going to put my baby in an improperly installed carseat. Thanks for being no help. And just other things that are getting stupid. I'd rather just vent on here.
I wonder if postpartum depression can show up a couple months after the baby. Lately I've just been angry as heck for no reason or just feeling depressed. And I know it's going to affect my marriage if it hasn't started to. The problem is, do I go to the ob or the regular dr? I hate the army for this reason. I guess I can call and ask.
But yesterday I was pissed because the house was a mess and dh wasnt helping to clean it even though he was taking care of the baby. So I washed a pot in the sink and kind of just banged it down in the drainer then I went to the room and laid down. Then I started thinking about the baby shower that never happened and how people, before the shower date, were telling me to stop buying stuff so they could. That got me depressed and thinking I'm glad I didn't fucking listen to them. Then about how my mom brought up the baby shower gifts and NO ONE bought anything off our baby registry or even close to it. So I got mad about that too and saying screw them and I'm glad I didn't spend tons to drive there plus over $100 to board the dog for some cheap ass clothes and a couple more blankets. It just made me really depressed. Then people keep saying they still need to do a shower and no. It's over 2 months too late now. Besides maybe bowls, sippy cups, plates, and toddler silverware we have nothing left to get him.
Then I was thinking (someone was asking what they needed for their first place) about all the stuff we had when we first got married. I didn't have a bridal shower either so everything we had we bought ourselves or Dh's family loaned us. And anything we bought was cheap. So like the silverware was the ones you get 5 for $1 at walmart. Then I was mad about my sisters that had both showers and got stuff and we got nothing. Especially my oldest sister that got everything off her baby registry so she didn't have to buy anything. I guess I just want that for once. I didn't even get any recognition for my college graduation or commissioning. I guess nothing in my life that should be a big accomplishment really is.
I was in such a mood last night I didn't even want to hold or take care of my baby.
And yes, I've never thought or felt or acted this way before. I really just need to go to the dr. I think I have ppd or something at least.
Alright got to feed the baby it's kind of hard one handed.
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