Worst Dream EVER! and really weird too.

[jaysons_lady]

This morning I had the worst dream of my entire life.  It started out a normally weird dream.  Jayson was home on leave, it was summer, we were in MS, it was his first full day back.  I had my old car, a 1990 white pontiac grand am.  Something was wrong with it and we were trying to fix it.  I think it just needed some more oil and we were having trouble starting it too.  And Jayson had his car.    Then there was this whole bit where my car ran away with me (like a runaway horse)  and I finally got it stopped by the side of some winding country back road.  And I discovered that Duo was with me. Coulda sworn I'd left him with mom.  We went looking for a gas station.  We found a crazy horse.  There is then some weird bit involving the horse and a diaper, then his owner agreed to watch Duo while I rode to the gas station and back.  But right when I was about to leave for the gas station a bunch of people pulled up.  My Mom was with them.  I got this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Some guy handed me this card that was supposedly from Jayson.  It was weird, all I remember being in it now were the words: step, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip.  It greatly confused me at the time.  When I woke up I realized it wasn't even in Jayson's handwriting.  Then the guy said that we needed to go back to my Mom's and Austin Brown was waiting there to tell me something.  I had a feeling that I knew what the something was and I just totally freaked out and started screaming NO and I wasn't going to let the army tell me he was dead while he was home on leave, and stuff like that.  Then I implored my Mom to tell me what the heck was going on, but I knew by the look on her face already.  Really I had known when I saw them pull up.  I don't really remember much else.  I woke up soon after that part with this song stuck in my head. "There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you, and this hole in my heart can't be filled with the things I do. . . ."
So that was the worst dream I have ever had.  Even worse than the one where I was covered in spiders.
So now I am waiting and hoping that Jayson will call me today so that I can quit worrying so much.   Because sometimes, my dreams are precog.  And that never worries me more than when someone dies in my dreams.

I love you my Jayson.  
Please call me soon.