Intent for romance
Been a while since I wrote here. I don't know if it is pure laziness or the sense of nothing that I write is really important.
I live a life that ivery simple but yet my mind is so complex. Odd. I really don't want things to be so complex but I purely make them that way. No drama. Just a ton of thought and constantly riding that fine line of never being happy. It's still a struggle daily to find a friend in myself. I constantly beat myself senseless for things in my past. I am full of guilt and always wonder if I am a very good person. I know...I know. You need to love yourself before you love others. Bullshit. My heart is always full of love for people in my life. I don't think anyone that I know can say that I don't have a big heart. I just get it damaged too much. Again, I am MY biggest enemy and critic. Nothing is ever good enough and that must wear on some people.
I met a very nice girl a few months back that I have been committed to. I care for her immensely. She tells me that she loves me already and recently I have told her taht I have felt the same. I didn't until I knew there was love there. I kinda of have a hard time when she tells me those 3 words. Almost like I think that she is full of shit. It sucks but taht's honesty. It's not always sugar.
I was very afraid of getting close to her but I'm definately all in at this time. She makes my ehart skip a beat and makes me feel good about myself. One thing that is hard for me is that I really don't know sometimes where I stand with her. Sometimes she is hot and other times she is cold. I need her to get on the same page with me or else this is going to be a struggle. I enjoy doing the typical guy things and buying her flowers, chocolates and cards. I'm not looking for gifts but It would be nice to have her look me in the eyes sometime and tell me not only that she loves me but why. I know...this sounds like I am complaining and I am not happy. I actually am very much but these are one of the needs that I have. Call me needy? Fuck you! ;)
I love romance. Noting makes my blood feel warm like romance. I think it's important in a relationship. It keeps the blood flowing and things fresh. I never think there is something that can be done romantically that is over the top. It's to me like enjoying to give gifts during Christmas. I enjoy giving the gift of love on a daily basis and i'm confident that if you get the gift of MY love tere is nothing like it. When you have won over my heart you know you have. No doubts.
Why does spellcheck on this Ipad using the Live Journal app suck so bad? You would think that it would autocorrect fine. It gets disturbing rereading my journal entries everytime.
J11
I live a life that ivery simple but yet my mind is so complex. Odd. I really don't want things to be so complex but I purely make them that way. No drama. Just a ton of thought and constantly riding that fine line of never being happy. It's still a struggle daily to find a friend in myself. I constantly beat myself senseless for things in my past. I am full of guilt and always wonder if I am a very good person. I know...I know. You need to love yourself before you love others. Bullshit. My heart is always full of love for people in my life. I don't think anyone that I know can say that I don't have a big heart. I just get it damaged too much. Again, I am MY biggest enemy and critic. Nothing is ever good enough and that must wear on some people.
I met a very nice girl a few months back that I have been committed to. I care for her immensely. She tells me that she loves me already and recently I have told her taht I have felt the same. I didn't until I knew there was love there. I kinda of have a hard time when she tells me those 3 words. Almost like I think that she is full of shit. It sucks but taht's honesty. It's not always sugar.
I was very afraid of getting close to her but I'm definately all in at this time. She makes my ehart skip a beat and makes me feel good about myself. One thing that is hard for me is that I really don't know sometimes where I stand with her. Sometimes she is hot and other times she is cold. I need her to get on the same page with me or else this is going to be a struggle. I enjoy doing the typical guy things and buying her flowers, chocolates and cards. I'm not looking for gifts but It would be nice to have her look me in the eyes sometime and tell me not only that she loves me but why. I know...this sounds like I am complaining and I am not happy. I actually am very much but these are one of the needs that I have. Call me needy? Fuck you! ;)
I love romance. Noting makes my blood feel warm like romance. I think it's important in a relationship. It keeps the blood flowing and things fresh. I never think there is something that can be done romantically that is over the top. It's to me like enjoying to give gifts during Christmas. I enjoy giving the gift of love on a daily basis and i'm confident that if you get the gift of MY love tere is nothing like it. When you have won over my heart you know you have. No doubts.
Why does spellcheck on this Ipad using the Live Journal app suck so bad? You would think that it would autocorrect fine. It gets disturbing rereading my journal entries everytime.
J11