Need a Pickup
In a very dark place at the moment. I have had about 3 hours of sleep in the last 3 days...
Random thoughts:
I don't feel as though my job makes a difference to anyone elses life. 17 years and I feel I don't make a difference.
I have a few friends that are golden but no one that I can truthfully express my feelings in front of.
I feel like sometimes I wear a mask to hide the pain inside. Everyone around me expects me always to be the life of the party and their comedian. I always am there to help people and make them feel better. Where is everyone for me? In all fairness if i'm wearing a mask they possibly don't know how damaged I really am.
I feel there hasn't been anyone in my life that I can relate to or is deep of an emotional thinker as I am. That saddens me because I makes me look at other people as being very shallow. I don't want to judge people.
I feel I haven't been a great father. I wish I could provide my children more. Beinga single dad has been tough especially with being a role of a mother for my daughter.
I feel a need to have more friends with more things in common other then sitting at a bar staring at each other.
I feel like I miss my ex but have to remind myself why we are broke up. I feel that I am in a cycle of emotion and I really don't need to be. I should have just kept her blocked from all communication and I would have been ok.
I know it's not going to work with the girl in my current relationship but I am too weak to break up with her because I don't want to see her in pain and crying.
Things shouldn't be this difficult at my age. Not looking for sympathy. Just answers.
Random thoughts:
I don't feel as though my job makes a difference to anyone elses life. 17 years and I feel I don't make a difference.
I have a few friends that are golden but no one that I can truthfully express my feelings in front of.
I feel like sometimes I wear a mask to hide the pain inside. Everyone around me expects me always to be the life of the party and their comedian. I always am there to help people and make them feel better. Where is everyone for me? In all fairness if i'm wearing a mask they possibly don't know how damaged I really am.
I feel there hasn't been anyone in my life that I can relate to or is deep of an emotional thinker as I am. That saddens me because I makes me look at other people as being very shallow. I don't want to judge people.
I feel I haven't been a great father. I wish I could provide my children more. Beinga single dad has been tough especially with being a role of a mother for my daughter.
I feel a need to have more friends with more things in common other then sitting at a bar staring at each other.
I feel like I miss my ex but have to remind myself why we are broke up. I feel that I am in a cycle of emotion and I really don't need to be. I should have just kept her blocked from all communication and I would have been ok.
I know it's not going to work with the girl in my current relationship but I am too weak to break up with her because I don't want to see her in pain and crying.
Things shouldn't be this difficult at my age. Not looking for sympathy. Just answers.