Day 4 - Pain Diary
Oh today I did very well! I only took 2x 500mg paracetemol with 15mg of Codeine and 1x of Lyrica today! Hopefully my pain is starting to settle down, or maybe I've learnt to manage and live with the pain. But oh my God, this morning, I was still doped up from the 30mg of Codeine and Lyrica I took around midnight before I went to bed. It took me about 3 hours before I could break out of being drowsy and dopey.
This is another reason why I have to fight off the medications. I generally cannot work. And then with the morning not being productive because I am too doped up, I ended up working through my evening and into early hours of the day (yes I was still sending emails tonight, past midnight). Working from home is good but seriously, it's like working around the clock. Oh well I guess at least I'm putting my time into doing something good and useful, and not just sit around being negative and emotional over things that are outside my control anyway.
So for those who don't know, I have a big tattoo on my back which is a girl, holding a balance beam with a heart on one side, and the brain on the other. It is to remind myself that everything in life, all decisions must be made with a balance of the heart and the brain. You can't let your emotions dominate (aka, me) and at the same time, you can't be dead inside and me all logic and emotionless. I am trying really hard to learn to not let my emotions get the best of me but it's difficult. It is also very, very exhausting. Emotions are something that can be swayed easily and changes every hour of the day (try PMSing). So when your decisions are being swayed and changed every moment, it becomes very exhausting. Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no - ok you get the point.
I'm starting to feel this financial pressure and job insecurity. I've been lucky enough that I haven't been made redundant yet but a lot of people around me have lost their jobs, or will be losing their jobs once we get into complete lockdown, or when this lockdown goes on until God knows when. Man this is such difficult times we are living right now. The uncertainty of COVID-19 has brought out my anxiety. I am someone that wants and needs to be in control with everything and right now, no one is in control of anything. Something that is firmed and concrete today, can be change tomorrow. Anyway I am still staying optimistic about the entire situtation. I know our sciene and medical teams are working round the clock trying to figure out a vaccine and treatment for this. Keep having faith my friends, and most importantly, don't lose hope. Because what is life, without hope?
Let Hope Rise; Darkness Trembles.
Okay, meds are kicking in. Goodnight Sydney!
Love,
JC xx
This is another reason why I have to fight off the medications. I generally cannot work. And then with the morning not being productive because I am too doped up, I ended up working through my evening and into early hours of the day (yes I was still sending emails tonight, past midnight). Working from home is good but seriously, it's like working around the clock. Oh well I guess at least I'm putting my time into doing something good and useful, and not just sit around being negative and emotional over things that are outside my control anyway.
So for those who don't know, I have a big tattoo on my back which is a girl, holding a balance beam with a heart on one side, and the brain on the other. It is to remind myself that everything in life, all decisions must be made with a balance of the heart and the brain. You can't let your emotions dominate (aka, me) and at the same time, you can't be dead inside and me all logic and emotionless. I am trying really hard to learn to not let my emotions get the best of me but it's difficult. It is also very, very exhausting. Emotions are something that can be swayed easily and changes every hour of the day (try PMSing). So when your decisions are being swayed and changed every moment, it becomes very exhausting. Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no - ok you get the point.
I'm starting to feel this financial pressure and job insecurity. I've been lucky enough that I haven't been made redundant yet but a lot of people around me have lost their jobs, or will be losing their jobs once we get into complete lockdown, or when this lockdown goes on until God knows when. Man this is such difficult times we are living right now. The uncertainty of COVID-19 has brought out my anxiety. I am someone that wants and needs to be in control with everything and right now, no one is in control of anything. Something that is firmed and concrete today, can be change tomorrow. Anyway I am still staying optimistic about the entire situtation. I know our sciene and medical teams are working round the clock trying to figure out a vaccine and treatment for this. Keep having faith my friends, and most importantly, don't lose hope. Because what is life, without hope?
Let Hope Rise; Darkness Trembles.
Okay, meds are kicking in. Goodnight Sydney!
Love,
JC xx