Be kind. Stop the Joker.
"Loving people means caring without an agenda. As soon as we have an agenda, it's not love anymore." Bob Goff.
I watched the movie, The Joker, last Friday and it hit me hard. It really got me thinking. Spoiler alert - if you're expecting an action movie where it is Batman -v- Joker, don't bother going to this movie. This was a slow burn movie, or what my friend called it - a performance. It was a one man show, The Joker Show. I say definitely Oscar winning performance.
There was only one single protagonist in this movie, and that was the Joker. We get to watch how Arthur Fleck decided to become the infamous Joker.
When life swallows you down; when you feel like you've been beaten down just because you are you; when yuo feel like the world is full of darkness and there is no more hope; when you feel like the world has failed you; when you feel like you got no where to turn - what do you do? Do you cave in and accept that is how life will always be, or do you fight back and fight life?
Arthur was beaten down by life so much. No one care about him. No one even know he existed. He wanted to be a standup comedian, yet his life itself was a comedy. People laughed at his failures. But at least at that moment, poeple noticed he existed.
When the world failed you, you ask, if I was to disappear tomorrow, would anyone notice? Would anyone care? Would anyone even notice I went missing?
That was Arthur. It got to a stage where (after all the stressors added up - losing job, loss of income, getting beaten just because, lost of identity, the only family and person you lived for, was not who she said she was) he felt like, this was it, he was a joke, his life was a joke. If that's the case, then I may as well amplify it and make it into The Joker. Let the world break you down so much that you become unbreakable.
People always say life is like a movie, you had a start and an end. The climax, the hero, the rescue, the dramas etc. But the question is - would anyone want to watch your movie?
The Joker always wanted to be a performer. He just wanted to make people laugh - and he did! Unfortunately it was with his life's failures though. When your life becomes so much of a joke, can you even help but to also laugh at yourself and at how much of a joke this is?
Anyway, enough about the Joker. The reason I brought up the Joker is to remind us to BE KIND. We never know what one person is experiencing, or has experienced to behave the way they are. Be Kind. Be Loving. Stop pretending. Stop thinking about yourself for once. The story of the Joker is very well and there are a lot of people in our world who are suffering from mental illness, majority of them with depression. And before they spiral down this dark road of becoming Joker-like, let's be kind to them. Show them love. Love is really how Bob Goff described it - caring without an agenda.
I had a friend recently that had long working hours, back to back shifts. He has always had a bad back and struggled with muscular pain for as long as he remembers. I offered him to come over for dinner (to save him the trouble of cooking and washing up) after work, and also for some stretches to release his muscle tensions. Also, I was bored and wouldn't mind the company (well, to be honest I had so much University marking to do). He turned down the offer. Was I disappointed? I was. I was bored. At first - I was thinking to myself, I was being nice, how can you turn down this offer? This will be the last time I'll ever offer you anything again, because I don't like being rejected.
But that mindset is dangerous. The fear of rejection stopping me from extending love and kindness? Sounds so wrong and stupid when you put it this way. You need to put yourself out there if you want to love. And yes you'll get hurt, and yes you'll get rejected and be disappointed - but it's not about you - it's about the other person. How does your action make the other person feel? Do they feel the attention, the love, the kindness being extended? If they do, then you've won. The end result of whether they do accept your offer or not, that's the aftermath. You don't do it just for the sake of the other person thanking you - if that's how you are, then there's an agenda.
I've been hurt so much in the past by many people (mostly ex's), yet I've actually stayed in contact with the ones that hurt me the most. My close friends always ask me - WHY? Why am I still talking to them, and being there for them? I'm there for them because they need me. You wouldn't be contacting your ex unless he/she is the last person you can go to. If i turn down that phone call, what would that say about me as a person? I know there is someone out here that is in need of comfort and help, and yet I reject them on purpose? What difference does that make me compared to the people that made Arthur to become the Joker? Obviously, I'mt not a narcisst and self-destructive. If it's hurting me or bad for me to continue to stay in contact, of course I will weigh up the factors. But these people who are seeking me out - I have no romance love towards anymore. They are like an old friend of mine that is suffering, and if my time with them over the phone can bring them some comfort, then why not? What harm will that do me? None.
If we can stop another Joker from appearing in this world - then let's do it.
Love Anyway.
Show me how to love, like the way you have loved me. Hosanna.