to my dear, dear friend
last night was a rather strange night. I fell asleep in the chair for a long time. but then I went out to coffee with Mark. Which I have not done in FOREVER. I missed him terribly! It was nice to sit and chat for hours like we used to do. I miss that. he called me earlier in the night to go bowling, which is weird cuz I was going to call him to go bowling, but my phone died...so neither of us actually got the message through to each other about bowling until it was too late.
so i got back from coffee and talked to another friend for a while online. Which then turned into a very, very long time on the phone until 330 or 4 in the morning.
I love this kid more than he realizes. I know his world is being turned upside down right now and he doesn't know which direction is up or down. And it is killing me seeing him like this. He has always been my rock and has made me feel better than any other person out there. the fact that he can't get back to his old self is just sad because the world isn't seeing what a great, great guy he is.
it's reasons like this i miss being around to help out family and friends. I talked to him for hours last night, and the whole time I so badly wanted to get in my car and drive the 2 hours just to give him a big hug and turn around and come back.
granted, him and i did not talk for a few years, but with the situation at hand, it was better for him to be happier and me not around than for his life to have havoc in it with me there. but now that we are friends again *or whatever the term is for what we are*, I would hate to lose him under any circumstances.
I know he's learned from his mistakes, but it's not like people are giving him any breaks either. I want him to be happy so badly.
so kid...if you ever actually are nosey and read this...just know that I love you very much and i am always here for you no matter what time of day or night. you have a special place in my heart and i don't want to go through losing you again!
can I get any sappier? lol