Thoughts Thoughts Thoughts
Been thinkin' a lot lately. Today's Killian's birthday...and the only present I wanna give her is freedom. I hope she's okay. God, I'm so scared for her. I just want her back.
Andy's been a nice distraction. I know he's just tryin' to ease my mind, but I'm also startin' to suspect he's tryin' to wear me out to where I can't go on the mission. Heh..I love him for that. He's been talkin' more about marriage lately...even brought up wantin' kids. I want it, too. I'm just...not ready for that kinda commitment. Pretty sure he ain't either. One day, maybe...but not right now.
I think Andy's worried I'm gonna leave him, too. He kept askin' about Moira and the kinda women I liked. Okay, yeah, I still prefer women, but...I love Andy and I ain't leavin' him. Got no reason to. I'm hopin' he'll figure this out. Pretty sure I made it clear last night that I want him. Did stuff to him I never done before. I mean, he's done it to me, so...I thought it would only be fair to give back. He seemed pretty into it, and I liked it well enough, but he kept laughin', so...not sure I did it right. Wonder if he'll give me pointers.
Pretty sure I could get use to this lifestyle. Definately not like any family I ever knew, but I don't wanna be alone in raisin' 'lian. And I don't wanna leave the ship. I love it here...it's home. Andy, 'lian, Mal, and the others...feels like I got family and a real place to live. Haven't felt like that since I left home. Just wanna keep feelin' like that. Gotta get Killian back first, though...then we'll be a family again.
Andy's been a nice distraction. I know he's just tryin' to ease my mind, but I'm also startin' to suspect he's tryin' to wear me out to where I can't go on the mission. Heh..I love him for that. He's been talkin' more about marriage lately...even brought up wantin' kids. I want it, too. I'm just...not ready for that kinda commitment. Pretty sure he ain't either. One day, maybe...but not right now.
I think Andy's worried I'm gonna leave him, too. He kept askin' about Moira and the kinda women I liked. Okay, yeah, I still prefer women, but...I love Andy and I ain't leavin' him. Got no reason to. I'm hopin' he'll figure this out. Pretty sure I made it clear last night that I want him. Did stuff to him I never done before. I mean, he's done it to me, so...I thought it would only be fair to give back. He seemed pretty into it, and I liked it well enough, but he kept laughin', so...not sure I did it right. Wonder if he'll give me pointers.
Pretty sure I could get use to this lifestyle. Definately not like any family I ever knew, but I don't wanna be alone in raisin' 'lian. And I don't wanna leave the ship. I love it here...it's home. Andy, 'lian, Mal, and the others...feels like I got family and a real place to live. Haven't felt like that since I left home. Just wanna keep feelin' like that. Gotta get Killian back first, though...then we'll be a family again.