Why is it that when you try to be nice to people, they act like jackasses?
Last night, I thought maybe it would be nice to apologize to Kyle for being a bitch, even though I do feel all bitchiness was rather warranted, if not ASKED FOR.
What I got in return was a shitty remark, laced with resentment and bitterness.
Let me preface the rest of this post by first saying that last I checked, it was still allowed, and even ENCOURAGED that, in making choices, you do what's best for YOU, and not look out for the well-being of everyone else around you, while still taking into consideration their feelings and emotions.
Let me also say that I dated him for a little over 2 months, during which time I probably saw him a total of around 15 times. Forgive me, but I hardly consider that grounds for a serious relationship. Excuse me for keeping my distance. 3 hours is distance enough.
That being said, I'd now like to say something (or rather, a few things) to Kyle. No, I suppose that when I broke up with you, I didn't tell you the entire truth. What I did tell you was true, and I stand by what I said, and my decisions since then. However, when asked what you did wrong, I told you nothing. And it was then that I lied.
I feel that at this point, it would be my duty to give you a few tips on HUMAN INTERACTION. Please pay attention. Keep in mind that these are my opinions, my observations, and have been my experiences with regard to you. Please also keep in mind that this is MY journal, and should you choose to stop reading now, you may prevent yourself from becoming rather infuriated with me. Consider the preceding your disclaimer.
1. It has been my experience that, in doing for others, many times, you will not recieve so much as an appreciative comment, much less, a 'thank you'. I do feel that on just about every occasion that you did anything for me, bought me anything, etc., I did express my gratitude, say 'thank you', or something along the lines of the like. Being that I am a human, I do not doubt that there were times that it most likely slipped my mind. I believe the phrase you used was something along the lines of "I know that there were at least one or two times that you didn't. Maybe I just expect too much". LESSON #1: Yes, you do. If you expect people to thank you for every tiny thing you ever do for anyone ever in your entire life, YOU ARE EXPECTING FAR TOO MUCH. People are selfish, unappreciative, ungrateful, and the list goes on. HOWEVER, part of being a friend, a boyfriend, and furthermore, a good person, is NOT EXPECTING APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE. To do something simply for the 'thank you' is like donating to charity to get your name in the paper. You lose the act of kindness in the selfishness of expecting gratitude. I have seen people give, and give, and give, and give, and NEVER expect anything in return. EVER. These people are not weak, they are not doormats, nor pushovers, and my guess is that they don't feel the least bit taken advantage of. They do things simply because they want to. This is not to say that you shouldn't expect thanks for the things you do for people, but if you expect to be happy in life, DO NOT expect to be thanked every single time you do. You will only create tension in your own mind when you are let-down. And I guarantee that they other parties involved won't give it a second thought.
So Kyle, I agree that there were most likely times that it did slip my mind and I did not thank you for things that you did for me, but truth be told; I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO.
2. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Don't EVER tell someone that there aren't ANYTHING like the kind of girl you were looking for. That only makes said girl feel like she doesn't match up. Also, down in Ohio, you and your friends might think it's funny to, from time to time, make racist jokes, however jokingly you mean the things you say. However, here in Michigan, we do things a little differently, and to be frank, I was very uncomfortable. Furthermore, if you make a joke about someone, and it clearly bothers them, and you can see that they want you to STOP, then STOP. Continuing to make said joke and continuing to tell other people about it, and laugh in their face about it, only makes them dislike you that much more. I can't give you a for-instance off the top of my head, I just know it happened on more than a few occasions.
3. This is a rather short one. DO NOT WAKE PEOPLE UP AT UNGODLY HOURS OF THE MORNING AND BE ALL OVER THEM. It pisses them off. A LOT. During the night, I personally am quite fond of sleeping.
4. If you can honestly (albeit in the back of your mind) tell, that your girlfriend is not as serious about you as you are about her, pushing harder and being more of a presence in a shorter period of time will only drive her further away. Laying on the guilt will only make her find you even more obnoxious. Trying to make it her fault, will only make her think less of you.
5. NEVER, EVER BLAME THINGS ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Plain and simple. Never do it. It makes them wonder why the hell they are wasting their time with someone who just wants someone else to pin things on.
6. NEVER ACCUSE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER OF ANYTHING WITHOUT FIRST TALKING IT THROUGH WITH THEM. This makes them feel like you don't trust them, which, in turn, creates a wonderment of why YOU are worthy of THEIR trust, if they are so obviously not worthy of yours.
7. DO NOT PLAY THE "PITY ME" CARD. EVER. Do not say "I have trust issues." or "I've been hurt so much in the past" (yes, with your one prior girlfriend.) and in saying these things, expect that it is MY duty to make sure these things don't happen again. ALSO, do not say them with the expectation that I will feel sorry for you and stay with you because of them. If I want to leave, I will leave. Furthermore, as I have told you before, EVERYONE ON EARTH, YOUNG, OLD, FAT, SKINNY, SHORT, TALL, WHITE, BLACK, WHATEVER, EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD HAS TRUST ISSUES. YOU ARE NOT DIFFERENT. YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD WITH YOUR EXACT SAME TRUST ISSUES. Nothing sets you apart from anyone else.
What you wanted, Kyle, was SOMEONE. You didn't want me. And that's fine. Just don't make that mistake with someone else.
What I got in return was a shitty remark, laced with resentment and bitterness.
Let me preface the rest of this post by first saying that last I checked, it was still allowed, and even ENCOURAGED that, in making choices, you do what's best for YOU, and not look out for the well-being of everyone else around you, while still taking into consideration their feelings and emotions.
Let me also say that I dated him for a little over 2 months, during which time I probably saw him a total of around 15 times. Forgive me, but I hardly consider that grounds for a serious relationship. Excuse me for keeping my distance. 3 hours is distance enough.
That being said, I'd now like to say something (or rather, a few things) to Kyle. No, I suppose that when I broke up with you, I didn't tell you the entire truth. What I did tell you was true, and I stand by what I said, and my decisions since then. However, when asked what you did wrong, I told you nothing. And it was then that I lied.
I feel that at this point, it would be my duty to give you a few tips on HUMAN INTERACTION. Please pay attention. Keep in mind that these are my opinions, my observations, and have been my experiences with regard to you. Please also keep in mind that this is MY journal, and should you choose to stop reading now, you may prevent yourself from becoming rather infuriated with me. Consider the preceding your disclaimer.
1. It has been my experience that, in doing for others, many times, you will not recieve so much as an appreciative comment, much less, a 'thank you'. I do feel that on just about every occasion that you did anything for me, bought me anything, etc., I did express my gratitude, say 'thank you', or something along the lines of the like. Being that I am a human, I do not doubt that there were times that it most likely slipped my mind. I believe the phrase you used was something along the lines of "I know that there were at least one or two times that you didn't. Maybe I just expect too much". LESSON #1: Yes, you do. If you expect people to thank you for every tiny thing you ever do for anyone ever in your entire life, YOU ARE EXPECTING FAR TOO MUCH. People are selfish, unappreciative, ungrateful, and the list goes on. HOWEVER, part of being a friend, a boyfriend, and furthermore, a good person, is NOT EXPECTING APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE. To do something simply for the 'thank you' is like donating to charity to get your name in the paper. You lose the act of kindness in the selfishness of expecting gratitude. I have seen people give, and give, and give, and give, and NEVER expect anything in return. EVER. These people are not weak, they are not doormats, nor pushovers, and my guess is that they don't feel the least bit taken advantage of. They do things simply because they want to. This is not to say that you shouldn't expect thanks for the things you do for people, but if you expect to be happy in life, DO NOT expect to be thanked every single time you do. You will only create tension in your own mind when you are let-down. And I guarantee that they other parties involved won't give it a second thought.
So Kyle, I agree that there were most likely times that it did slip my mind and I did not thank you for things that you did for me, but truth be told; I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO.
2. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. Don't EVER tell someone that there aren't ANYTHING like the kind of girl you were looking for. That only makes said girl feel like she doesn't match up. Also, down in Ohio, you and your friends might think it's funny to, from time to time, make racist jokes, however jokingly you mean the things you say. However, here in Michigan, we do things a little differently, and to be frank, I was very uncomfortable. Furthermore, if you make a joke about someone, and it clearly bothers them, and you can see that they want you to STOP, then STOP. Continuing to make said joke and continuing to tell other people about it, and laugh in their face about it, only makes them dislike you that much more. I can't give you a for-instance off the top of my head, I just know it happened on more than a few occasions.
3. This is a rather short one. DO NOT WAKE PEOPLE UP AT UNGODLY HOURS OF THE MORNING AND BE ALL OVER THEM. It pisses them off. A LOT. During the night, I personally am quite fond of sleeping.
4. If you can honestly (albeit in the back of your mind) tell, that your girlfriend is not as serious about you as you are about her, pushing harder and being more of a presence in a shorter period of time will only drive her further away. Laying on the guilt will only make her find you even more obnoxious. Trying to make it her fault, will only make her think less of you.
5. NEVER, EVER BLAME THINGS ON YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER. Plain and simple. Never do it. It makes them wonder why the hell they are wasting their time with someone who just wants someone else to pin things on.
6. NEVER ACCUSE YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER OF ANYTHING WITHOUT FIRST TALKING IT THROUGH WITH THEM. This makes them feel like you don't trust them, which, in turn, creates a wonderment of why YOU are worthy of THEIR trust, if they are so obviously not worthy of yours.
7. DO NOT PLAY THE "PITY ME" CARD. EVER. Do not say "I have trust issues." or "I've been hurt so much in the past" (yes, with your one prior girlfriend.) and in saying these things, expect that it is MY duty to make sure these things don't happen again. ALSO, do not say them with the expectation that I will feel sorry for you and stay with you because of them. If I want to leave, I will leave. Furthermore, as I have told you before, EVERYONE ON EARTH, YOUNG, OLD, FAT, SKINNY, SHORT, TALL, WHITE, BLACK, WHATEVER, EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD HAS TRUST ISSUES. YOU ARE NOT DIFFERENT. YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD WITH YOUR EXACT SAME TRUST ISSUES. Nothing sets you apart from anyone else.
What you wanted, Kyle, was SOMEONE. You didn't want me. And that's fine. Just don't make that mistake with someone else.