It's been a long december
Well i'm trying to be real with myself... who knows... maybe it will work... Some of the things i've missed out on in life were probably for the better and yet i still wonder where i would be today if i would have taken more chances... or in some cases... less chances. All i know right now is that my head is fucked up beyong belief.. it's like i'm having holy wars inside my head. Holy wars... what a term. There is nothing holy about war.. yet i put my life on the line every fucking day to fight for this country when i don't believe in what i'm doing. Does that make sence? No... didn't think so. There is so much i do that i don't agree with... so why do it you ask. Coz society tells me it will better me in the long run. Why can't i just be in michigan right now... sitting at the beach with the girl of my dreams... You know who you are Fer Fer... watching the sun go down and soon after going to a mild party. Then back to my house for a good long night of slumber to wake up to a sunshiny day raised to walk in new light becoz i'd be happy. Any other job besides this one... But i'm in Washington with a girl i fight with more than i love now... i have a job i hate... and i live in the state with the highest suicide rate it's always raining and always cloudy and you know what... i'm done talking about.. bye