last night

[jaymepayme]

was very interesting. went out to a party in ft worth for nichole's bday. fun stuff.

then came home to a party here at our house for megan and jared's bday.

got a little drunk.

did some semi-regrettable things.
who doesn't i guess.

i hope things aren't awkward between mitch and i now.
nothing too crazy happened
but i know he like loves megan and has for a long time.
i pretty much question the sincerity of everything he said and did last night
i'm not sad about it though.

i'm numb to boys anymore.
i feel like they could totally trash me and treat me like shit

and it totally wouldn't hurt.

i feel like i've been through hell. and i'm still going through hell.

nothing could possibly be worse at this point than what i went through this summer.

i feel so lifeless.

salsa dancing tonight.
something to look forward to.

painting all day to try and relieve some stress.