it's time for a rant
Well, my leave comes to its conclusion tomorrow and I will return to my Iraqi paradise until the summer time.
First, I had a great time. I got to see a lot of people I had been missing and it was great just to be able to truly relax.
With that said, each time I visit home I realize, more and more, that I don't fit in around the places I grew up. Don't get me wrong, the good friends I have are the same and I always feel comfortable with them. It's just that, I've changed, and nothing is really the same to me now. I guess the old cliche "you can never go home again" is true afterall. This isn't my home anymore. I recognize this fact with some sadness and know that if I come back to this place for too long I will become lost in the nostalgia and that's just not a state I want to dwell in.
I'm heading towards the crossroads now. After this deployment is over, I will begin the long drawn out process of ETSing (escaping) from the Army. Assuming there's no national crisis that will require me to mantain my duties past my active duty contract, they shouldn't fuss too much about me bailing out. It's still more than a year away, but as the last few years have taught me, time speeds relentlessly. I have all these choices I have to make, I have to figure out how to start the next chapter so to speak.
Despite the uncertainty, I am optimistic for the future, moreso than I think I ever have been. The things I've learned about myself and the world in general through my experiences the past three years have changed my perception forever. I am ready to face whatever is ahead.
Assuming I don't take some fatal injury (which might not be the wisest assumption even though the odds are in my favor), the next few years should be very interesting. I know I'll return to school while working and live a more normal life, but the question of where is still open. I'll probably live in New Hampshire for a year, maybe two, then transfer somewhere else out of state. Who knows.
Anyway, next entry I make will probably be from Iraq.
First, I had a great time. I got to see a lot of people I had been missing and it was great just to be able to truly relax.
With that said, each time I visit home I realize, more and more, that I don't fit in around the places I grew up. Don't get me wrong, the good friends I have are the same and I always feel comfortable with them. It's just that, I've changed, and nothing is really the same to me now. I guess the old cliche "you can never go home again" is true afterall. This isn't my home anymore. I recognize this fact with some sadness and know that if I come back to this place for too long I will become lost in the nostalgia and that's just not a state I want to dwell in.
I'm heading towards the crossroads now. After this deployment is over, I will begin the long drawn out process of ETSing (escaping) from the Army. Assuming there's no national crisis that will require me to mantain my duties past my active duty contract, they shouldn't fuss too much about me bailing out. It's still more than a year away, but as the last few years have taught me, time speeds relentlessly. I have all these choices I have to make, I have to figure out how to start the next chapter so to speak.
Despite the uncertainty, I am optimistic for the future, moreso than I think I ever have been. The things I've learned about myself and the world in general through my experiences the past three years have changed my perception forever. I am ready to face whatever is ahead.
Assuming I don't take some fatal injury (which might not be the wisest assumption even though the odds are in my favor), the next few years should be very interesting. I know I'll return to school while working and live a more normal life, but the question of where is still open. I'll probably live in New Hampshire for a year, maybe two, then transfer somewhere else out of state. Who knows.
Anyway, next entry I make will probably be from Iraq.