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I’m laying here watching a movie called Stadt Land Fluss and it dawned on me how lifeless this apartment has become. There likely won’t be any more big holiday parties or small get-togethers held here before I move. Ryan is almost never here anymore, and I envy the fact that he has had the opportunity to let go of this place. This apartment is the only place I’ve lived in in St Louis. In the almost-four short years I’ve been here I’ve amassed a large number of wonderful memories - some not-so-good ones too and right now I wish the latter outnumbered the former. I’m going to have a really hard time leaving here and I’m worried about what my new place will be like, not to mention my utter dread and hatred for the moving process itself. This wonderful apartment that I love so much is home. The only one I’ve known since Lawrence. I know I’m being melodramatic about this, and I’m sure in a year or so I will re-read this and laugh. Now, though, I’m just sad.