depression is a 40/4 letter word
This is my angry face. So Zeta Psi had this party tonite, and everyone who I thought would be in the westwood area and would have an interest in going was invited. If you would have gone but didn't get an invite let me know, cuz I didn't feel like mass emailing or IMing all my friends I've ever known on the off chance that one could have gone. and if only one of you had come it would have been pretty boring cuz not knowing anyone at a party sucks which brings me to my point.
I invited 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.. maybe more people. No one came. I take that back, one person drove all the way down from fresno then decided to drive all the way back. so I'm officially mad at all my friends at UCLA becuase I invited like all of them, and I haven't seen any of them since spring break because we've all been too busy and every time I make time to hang out they're unavailable. So I guess if I keep making this effort and they keep not, I have earned the right to be pissed and maybe they fucking suck.
i have to cut this entry short because my room mate is getting hella ass right now and I should try to find some place else to sleep tonite.
in related news, a couple nights ago I was really, really depressed, similar to my mood now and I discovered a hole in my musical collection. I have no really truly depressed want to die because there's a whole in your very being music. I tried all the saddest music I could find, and everytime I thought "no, this isn't even close to what I'm feeling. Where is the truly sad music." dashboard, light and airy, eisley, upbeat and peppy, johnny cash, happy and carefree, eliot smith, down right happy. compared to how I felt, how I feel again tonite. what the fuck. at least with mildly depressed moods there's some music to match someone who has been there before. tonite the only thing I can relate to are other night I've this awful.
I invited 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.. maybe more people. No one came. I take that back, one person drove all the way down from fresno then decided to drive all the way back. so I'm officially mad at all my friends at UCLA becuase I invited like all of them, and I haven't seen any of them since spring break because we've all been too busy and every time I make time to hang out they're unavailable. So I guess if I keep making this effort and they keep not, I have earned the right to be pissed and maybe they fucking suck.
i have to cut this entry short because my room mate is getting hella ass right now and I should try to find some place else to sleep tonite.
in related news, a couple nights ago I was really, really depressed, similar to my mood now and I discovered a hole in my musical collection. I have no really truly depressed want to die because there's a whole in your very being music. I tried all the saddest music I could find, and everytime I thought "no, this isn't even close to what I'm feeling. Where is the truly sad music." dashboard, light and airy, eisley, upbeat and peppy, johnny cash, happy and carefree, eliot smith, down right happy. compared to how I felt, how I feel again tonite. what the fuck. at least with mildly depressed moods there's some music to match someone who has been there before. tonite the only thing I can relate to are other night I've this awful.