That's right, bitches.
Who does the city of Baltimore have to thank for our kick ass win tonight? Me, that's who. But do they thank me? No. Unless you call people shouting "Nice game, but you're still ugly motherfucker" as being thankful. I sure as hell don't. We lost Javy tonight. And we lost that bitch ass B Rob. It's going to be a tough few games, but I think we'll make it through all right. I may not be able to do a lot of things, but I can win a goddamn baseball game, this I know.
Bigbie is still flaunting Tiffany in my face. I swear one day I'm going to haul off and choke that bitch. Of course, no one will ever take my side because no one ever does. I just want things to go right for me in all aspects of my life, so I'll know what it's like to be truly happy. Good things like that just don't happen to ugly guys like me. Sure I have a hot bod, but when you look like something that was pulled out of a woodchipper, the chicks really don't give you the time of day. I was browsing online earlier and saw a few photos of me from Fan Photo Day. Someone actually said that I looked like Sloth from the Goonies. It's not my fault that I have bad skin and floppy ears and jumbled up teeth. One guy at the game tonight even yelled "HAY YOU GUYS!!!" at me trying to be cute and all. I'm lucky I was still able to catch the damn ball.
Speaking of bad skin, I FINALLY got my Proactiv in the mail today. I can't wait to put it on and see the results. If I can get my skin to look like Jessica Simpson's, I'll buy a lifetime supply of the stuff. I'm tired of the guys in the clubhouse replacing my acne cream with BenGay. I can't tell you all the times I've cried myself to sleep with my face on fire. I'll get those fuckers one day.
Bigbie is still flaunting Tiffany in my face. I swear one day I'm going to haul off and choke that bitch. Of course, no one will ever take my side because no one ever does. I just want things to go right for me in all aspects of my life, so I'll know what it's like to be truly happy. Good things like that just don't happen to ugly guys like me. Sure I have a hot bod, but when you look like something that was pulled out of a woodchipper, the chicks really don't give you the time of day. I was browsing online earlier and saw a few photos of me from Fan Photo Day. Someone actually said that I looked like Sloth from the Goonies. It's not my fault that I have bad skin and floppy ears and jumbled up teeth. One guy at the game tonight even yelled "HAY YOU GUYS!!!" at me trying to be cute and all. I'm lucky I was still able to catch the damn ball.
Speaking of bad skin, I FINALLY got my Proactiv in the mail today. I can't wait to put it on and see the results. If I can get my skin to look like Jessica Simpson's, I'll buy a lifetime supply of the stuff. I'm tired of the guys in the clubhouse replacing my acne cream with BenGay. I can't tell you all the times I've cried myself to sleep with my face on fire. I'll get those fuckers one day.