The Plight of the Single Dad
We hear constantly about how bad single mothers have it, and I agree, many of them do, but today, I will discuss single fathers. I have many friends who have been unfortunate enough to find themselves seperated from their children due to a divorce. I also have even more friends that are female who are divorced with children. Not one of my female friends is having any trouble collecting child support from her ex, yet they still have negative, even hateful attitudes towards them when I have heard them speak on the phone. They use the kids as weapons against their exes, threatening to not allow lawful visitation if the man does not jump through her hoops. Now I know that not all women are that way, but the ones that are are causing a lot of grief, not only for their ex, but for their children as well. I find it interesting that a state attorney general can imprison a man for not paying child support but little to nothing is done if a mother violates a father's rights by refusing his court ordered visitation.
The courts don't really recognize the parental rights of the father as equal to those of the mother, just the financial responsibility. I have one friend who was denied visitation with his infant daughter because he left the state in agony after finding his wife in a motel with two men and a woman... her father was with him when he found her. Now, if that wasn't bad enough, she disappeared, leaving no address or phone number for him to contact her for seven years. She had been ordered not to leave the jurisdiction of the court, which was in Virginia. She popped up in Florida. Was she arressted for kidnapping, as he would have been had he taken the child and left? No. Instead, the courts saw fit to hit my friend with a judgement for $18,000 in back child support. Could he have done more to try and locate his daughter... if he had more financial resources, probably so, but he didn't. She was custodial parent, so the courts said her rights superceded his.
An ex wife gets married and her new husband get transferred out of town, dad loses access to his kids.
I think it is easy to understand why some fathers give up trying, only to be denounced as absentee fathers. The laws must be changed to protect the rights of fathers and children, and level the playing field so that fathers have as much chance of getting custody of their kids, and when they don't, their visitation is not hindered by a vengeful ex.
The courts don't really recognize the parental rights of the father as equal to those of the mother, just the financial responsibility. I have one friend who was denied visitation with his infant daughter because he left the state in agony after finding his wife in a motel with two men and a woman... her father was with him when he found her. Now, if that wasn't bad enough, she disappeared, leaving no address or phone number for him to contact her for seven years. She had been ordered not to leave the jurisdiction of the court, which was in Virginia. She popped up in Florida. Was she arressted for kidnapping, as he would have been had he taken the child and left? No. Instead, the courts saw fit to hit my friend with a judgement for $18,000 in back child support. Could he have done more to try and locate his daughter... if he had more financial resources, probably so, but he didn't. She was custodial parent, so the courts said her rights superceded his.
An ex wife gets married and her new husband get transferred out of town, dad loses access to his kids.
I think it is easy to understand why some fathers give up trying, only to be denounced as absentee fathers. The laws must be changed to protect the rights of fathers and children, and level the playing field so that fathers have as much chance of getting custody of their kids, and when they don't, their visitation is not hindered by a vengeful ex.