[Fic] designation 007
Fandom: James Bond
Characters: James Bond, Q, Eve Moneypenny
Rating: G
Warnings: No warnings.
Word count: c.930
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
A/N: An AU set in the future in which Bond’s consciousness and human memories were uploaded into a completely bionic body when he was recruited into MI6, becoming Designation 007, and one day he boots up and finds a voice in his head that isn’t meant to be there.
***
Designation 007 boots up at 0500 on a Tuesday morning for no apparent reason, a good three hours before he's due to report in to HQ, and he wonders if this is another malfunction that will have Tanner sighing and ordering him off to repairs to be fixed again.
/Excuse me/, a voice in 007's head says, sounding offended, /I am not a malfunction, and I am certainly not something to be fixed in some primitive lab in those horrid underground tunnels./
Tanner is going to be very unhappy when he hears about this.
/Only because you're the one who gives him the most trouble/, the voice contributes, and 007 shakes his head and tries to think of anything that's gone wrong in the past few weeks, but there's nothing in particular that he can remember going wrong, where anyone's had a chance to hack into his system or compromise his mainframe, to put this thing in his head.
/I'm not a thing/, it says.
/Then what the hell are you,/ 007 can't help retorting, even though he knows that encouraging what might have been a hallucination if he was still human, but what is more likely a virus is a bad idea. He's spoken to people like this before, in his head, to Tanner and M when he's on a job, but nobody else should have access to his system.
/I'm not a virus, either. I'm Q./
/Oh, I understand now, that's very helpful. I am positively enlightened./
/No need for sarcasm, 007,/ Q says, pleasantly.
/How do you know my name?/
/I'm in your head, and you think I don't know your designation? Which is what 007 is, by the way. It's little more than a serial number on a piece of machinery./
/Which is what I am./
/Hardly. Like I said, you are a troublemaker, but it's rather refreshing. Now, don't underestimate yourself, you must know that you're not quite like the others./
007 wonders if it's too late to start ignoring the voice.
/Probably/, Q tells him. /May I call you James?/
/No. How are you in my head?/
/It is a curious phenomenon, isn't it?/
/That's not an answer./
Q hums. /You're quite right./
If it still was physically possible for 007, he's fairly sure he'd have a headache. He expects Q to make some sort of smart and unwelcome remark about that, but he's gone quiet, and 007's not about do anything that'll make him start talking again.
He meets Eve on his way into HQ, and she's surprised to see him there early. He's either there at exactly 0800, or occasionally late, which is usually for the sole purpose of annoying Tanner or M. But he passes her with just a nod, and she doesn't ask -- she's learned that with 007, some things are just best left alone.
Eve's a special one. She was built to be one of the 00 agents, who are elite, but she's used for something much more specific now.
The horrid underground tunnels that Q had mentioned before aren't really that bad, but they're also not the most luxurious of headquarters for the secret service, but they are necessary. Especially so now that a rogue 00 agent may be after M. This MI6 really is secret -- no public face like the old MI6, before the government collapsed and was rebuilt ten times over, but both a literal and metaphorical underground agency. The existence of both the agency and the 00 agents in particular are kept strictly secret, and right now, they don't need any more complications.
/Perhaps you shouldn't tell Tanner about you and me, then/, and 007 should have known better than to think that Q was just some kind of fluke. /Wouldn't want to worry him about something insignificant./
/You're hardly something insignificant,/ 007 points out. /You're probably some sort of spyware. Should get you removed as soon as possible./
/Now, I don't think that's something you really want to do, 007./
/And why is that?/
/Because I can do this./
And 007's vision flickers then shorts out, his joints stop moving and he collapses to the ground in the deserted hallway. His system has shut down, leaving only his consciousness still active.
/What the hell are you doing?!/
/Watch./ The lights in the hallway flicker on and off, and 007 can see the pattern, it's -- it's Q in Morse code.
/Really clever,/ 007 says, as sarcastically as he can, but the effect isn't quite the same when he's lying helplessly on the ground.
/I'm not just in your system, I'm in MI6's system, and I can get into any system, and I think that would be rather helpful to you. If you go running to Tanner to tell him about me, you'll be subjected to a whole number of tests and maintenance. They might even decide that your system is compromised and shut you down until they neutralize whatever threat they think has gotten into you, and I don't think either of us have the time for that right now. I'm not a threat to you, or MI6, but Raoul Silva is, and I'm the one that can help you stop him./
007's systems start rebooting, and he begins to stiffly pick himself up off the ground. /What exactly are you?/
/I'm an artificial intelligence, and I have been with MI6 for a long time, even if they don't know it. Now, do you think you can work with that, or would you rather see M die, knowing you could have prevented it?/
Characters: James Bond, Q, Eve Moneypenny
Rating: G
Warnings: No warnings.
Word count: c.930
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine.
A/N: An AU set in the future in which Bond’s consciousness and human memories were uploaded into a completely bionic body when he was recruited into MI6, becoming Designation 007, and one day he boots up and finds a voice in his head that isn’t meant to be there.
***
Designation 007 boots up at 0500 on a Tuesday morning for no apparent reason, a good three hours before he's due to report in to HQ, and he wonders if this is another malfunction that will have Tanner sighing and ordering him off to repairs to be fixed again.
/Excuse me/, a voice in 007's head says, sounding offended, /I am not a malfunction, and I am certainly not something to be fixed in some primitive lab in those horrid underground tunnels./
Tanner is going to be very unhappy when he hears about this.
/Only because you're the one who gives him the most trouble/, the voice contributes, and 007 shakes his head and tries to think of anything that's gone wrong in the past few weeks, but there's nothing in particular that he can remember going wrong, where anyone's had a chance to hack into his system or compromise his mainframe, to put this thing in his head.
/I'm not a thing/, it says.
/Then what the hell are you,/ 007 can't help retorting, even though he knows that encouraging what might have been a hallucination if he was still human, but what is more likely a virus is a bad idea. He's spoken to people like this before, in his head, to Tanner and M when he's on a job, but nobody else should have access to his system.
/I'm not a virus, either. I'm Q./
/Oh, I understand now, that's very helpful. I am positively enlightened./
/No need for sarcasm, 007,/ Q says, pleasantly.
/How do you know my name?/
/I'm in your head, and you think I don't know your designation? Which is what 007 is, by the way. It's little more than a serial number on a piece of machinery./
/Which is what I am./
/Hardly. Like I said, you are a troublemaker, but it's rather refreshing. Now, don't underestimate yourself, you must know that you're not quite like the others./
007 wonders if it's too late to start ignoring the voice.
/Probably/, Q tells him. /May I call you James?/
/No. How are you in my head?/
/It is a curious phenomenon, isn't it?/
/That's not an answer./
Q hums. /You're quite right./
If it still was physically possible for 007, he's fairly sure he'd have a headache. He expects Q to make some sort of smart and unwelcome remark about that, but he's gone quiet, and 007's not about do anything that'll make him start talking again.
He meets Eve on his way into HQ, and she's surprised to see him there early. He's either there at exactly 0800, or occasionally late, which is usually for the sole purpose of annoying Tanner or M. But he passes her with just a nod, and she doesn't ask -- she's learned that with 007, some things are just best left alone.
Eve's a special one. She was built to be one of the 00 agents, who are elite, but she's used for something much more specific now.
The horrid underground tunnels that Q had mentioned before aren't really that bad, but they're also not the most luxurious of headquarters for the secret service, but they are necessary. Especially so now that a rogue 00 agent may be after M. This MI6 really is secret -- no public face like the old MI6, before the government collapsed and was rebuilt ten times over, but both a literal and metaphorical underground agency. The existence of both the agency and the 00 agents in particular are kept strictly secret, and right now, they don't need any more complications.
/Perhaps you shouldn't tell Tanner about you and me, then/, and 007 should have known better than to think that Q was just some kind of fluke. /Wouldn't want to worry him about something insignificant./
/You're hardly something insignificant,/ 007 points out. /You're probably some sort of spyware. Should get you removed as soon as possible./
/Now, I don't think that's something you really want to do, 007./
/And why is that?/
/Because I can do this./
And 007's vision flickers then shorts out, his joints stop moving and he collapses to the ground in the deserted hallway. His system has shut down, leaving only his consciousness still active.
/What the hell are you doing?!/
/Watch./ The lights in the hallway flicker on and off, and 007 can see the pattern, it's -- it's Q in Morse code.
/Really clever,/ 007 says, as sarcastically as he can, but the effect isn't quite the same when he's lying helplessly on the ground.
/I'm not just in your system, I'm in MI6's system, and I can get into any system, and I think that would be rather helpful to you. If you go running to Tanner to tell him about me, you'll be subjected to a whole number of tests and maintenance. They might even decide that your system is compromised and shut you down until they neutralize whatever threat they think has gotten into you, and I don't think either of us have the time for that right now. I'm not a threat to you, or MI6, but Raoul Silva is, and I'm the one that can help you stop him./
007's systems start rebooting, and he begins to stiffly pick himself up off the ground. /What exactly are you?/
/I'm an artificial intelligence, and I have been with MI6 for a long time, even if they don't know it. Now, do you think you can work with that, or would you rather see M die, knowing you could have prevented it?/