Shut Up about the whole God is Good Thing
OK, let me preface this devotional tonight with a little intro. I may say some terms that might shock you but if we are honest with our hearts, we have all felt a little bit like this at some point. I have prayed about this in my soul and I recieved a warming confirmation in my heart that this subject needed to be shared. It has always been a
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I frequent Jaycubsfan's journal as I believe the Good Lord called him to a special and unique ministry in this soulful space. As I read his devotionals, I often read the comments and yours struck my heart with compassion.
Personally I know that times of "torment", sadness, despair, and questions can cause one to wonder "what is the purpose". Many people have the theology that "It is God's will", yet in my own theology and faith walk, I fervently believe that God is all loving, all knowing and all powerful, yet not everything is God's will. If everything was God's will, then we would all be puppets. I believe firmly that there are events in life that are the Good Lord's will, and yet that God also provides freedom of choice, freedom of chance, and that some events occur because of the nature he created this grand world (i.e. natural disaster), and some occur based on our own walk in sync with those in our lives. In the course of all events that transpire, I bow in gratitude that God keep an open heart and ear to all of us, no matter what we are going to. Sometimes though it is so difficult to hear and/or wait for the answer.... I continue to wait after 15 months, yet I see small seeds and blossoms of renewal in my broken heart.
I am so sorry to hear about your break up because I know such things cut to the soul, break the heart, and wound the Spirit. I myself can search my soul and feel the recurrence of pains I have experienced and although we all have our own unique feelings and pains, I know it feels terrible. What I have come to realize is that the Good Lord is so loving that He even allows us to "wrestle" with him. I have certainly wrestled with Him often, cried to him often, pleaded and begged with him often, and questioned him often in the past 15 months. I try to remind myself of the importance to also present my gratitude and love, yet sometimes it is so difficult amidst the pains we face. Yet perhaps it is this very struggle with God, the wrestling with God, and the deep discussions with God, that we can actually strengthen our faith and grow to Love God even more. I know it sounds clich'e but sometimes in our darkest days, we find that the process of working through the darkness creates an even brighter light in the path... at other times it is easy to wonder whether the light will ever turn on again..... yet as the good word says, sometimes we have to reach out in the darkness even in our greatest hurts and pains and make that leap of faith.
I will keep you in my prayers. I am sorry for your pain; pain hurts, it is no fun, and sometimes it is so difficult to understand.
God's Healing to you
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