(no subject)
An other day lost to contemplacion.... im lost in my own emotions... trapped in my thoughts... its like being on a road but not knowing which way to go... i am not a forgive and forget person... i am a forgive and accept person but i never forget... but if i don't forget do i ever truly forgive... i mean whatever it is will still come to mind... but does it affect me. Im a problem solver a peacemaker... sometimes a visonary... i live in the middle... i love the middle... i dont really know why... its like im lead and driven by ego and i hate me for it... i wanna help and i wanna get thanked for it... but i hate that ego and pride... just being able to help but never ask for help yourself... its a resentful hero complex... you never want to go unappreciated but i dont want to be thanked when i am the one asking to be put in the situation... im sorry if i come off pompus and all knowing... i do know alot... mainly some about alot of topics... always willing to lend an ear or words...but if i think about it... everything is a complex... striving to be helpful but thankless... thats not normal either... back t the nothings normal i guess... hmm... i just noticed the way i write these i never really finish a thought/sentence... no periods just continuations.... thoughts seem to make me disect who i am... but whats the point what drives me to want to know........
_____________________________________________________________________________________________ Now its 2 am.
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You know i see myself sometimes as a forceful jerk simply because im giving the advice and others seem to take it... hahaha its deffinatly not that simple... see it doesnt matter what talks are about... they help me realize something... alot of times i actually help so what does it matter why... haha... its a good day... you know learning something about myself always make me happy....i hope it all works out... but only one team wins a tug of war....
_____________________________________________________________________________________________ Now its 2 am.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
You know i see myself sometimes as a forceful jerk simply because im giving the advice and others seem to take it... hahaha its deffinatly not that simple... see it doesnt matter what talks are about... they help me realize something... alot of times i actually help so what does it matter why... haha... its a good day... you know learning something about myself always make me happy....i hope it all works out... but only one team wins a tug of war....