(no subject)
Today was rough. Had a horrible convo w john resulting in me finally growing a set and telling him not to call me anymore. That was so hard. I had to get away. I packed up a bag and headed to Jersey and be with my mommy. It was the best decision. I'm sure I would still be a mess right now. I'm trying to gain some perspective and pick apart all the shit I had to deal with. Just so hard not to miss his face, his lips, his hands. But that's just body parts, right? This isn't going to be easy but I'm sure it's better than dealing with his mentalness. I believe I will be ok. Only problem now is Michelle. John's bff gf. We have gotten to be really close. But she is my only tie to John. The only one that can tell me if he's with someone. I made a pact with her. I won't ask and she won't tell. It still kills me that she does know. Grrrrr! I think for awhile I'll keep it to our karoake nights and to a minimum. We are supposed to go to nj in 2 weeks for a bachalorette party of a wedding I was supposed to go with John.