a new season has begun
so here i am barely awake. typing with one open and drinking coffee waiting for it to kick in so i can stop by starbucks and get the "real shit". heh. today is the first day of school. thanks to scott, my classroom and its many desks got put together which helped me from having a major anxiety attack.
this much i know is true.
i tried my hardest to put myself out there and continue to do so. katie helped me realize that on thursday. i may have complained, but at least i tried to help change my situation and tried i did. i guess it wasn't in the cards for me to leave so soon. and that's okay.
i am still me. i am not the 13 year old that is a nobody that does not have any friends. on the contrary i have wonderful friends, friends that people only wish of having. the initial "shock and awe" of the seeing someone from the past can bring back those feelings, but it doesn't have to stay that way. i'm not that person anymore. parts of me yes. but the majority no. i've been through way more difficult things in my life, and luckily i have those people on my cell phone book there. no matter how far away or how close they are there.
all in all, i feel at peace this morning. maybe the coffee hasn't set in yet. who knows? : D
and finally. although dean would have retired this past year, we had our time cut short. nothing can change that and bring him back, nor change the memories of the days of utter sadness that followed last february. i know that he's up there wherever that may be and that i miss him and that i will try and do the best i can.
and that's all i can do and you know...
i'm okay with that.
this much i know is true.
i tried my hardest to put myself out there and continue to do so. katie helped me realize that on thursday. i may have complained, but at least i tried to help change my situation and tried i did. i guess it wasn't in the cards for me to leave so soon. and that's okay.
i am still me. i am not the 13 year old that is a nobody that does not have any friends. on the contrary i have wonderful friends, friends that people only wish of having. the initial "shock and awe" of the seeing someone from the past can bring back those feelings, but it doesn't have to stay that way. i'm not that person anymore. parts of me yes. but the majority no. i've been through way more difficult things in my life, and luckily i have those people on my cell phone book there. no matter how far away or how close they are there.
all in all, i feel at peace this morning. maybe the coffee hasn't set in yet. who knows? : D
and finally. although dean would have retired this past year, we had our time cut short. nothing can change that and bring him back, nor change the memories of the days of utter sadness that followed last february. i know that he's up there wherever that may be and that i miss him and that i will try and do the best i can.
and that's all i can do and you know...
i'm okay with that.