Mother May I?
Okay so in an earlier update on life post, I mentioned how I had mixed feelings about my mother right now. I love her and I know she loves me. That much is clear. But she doesn't know I'm gay. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to tell her not just because she's my mom but because I just have no idea how the hell she's going to react. If I could just figure out where the hell she actually stands on the whole topic that would be great.
But I can't.
Examples of Contradiction:
Me: Mom I'm writing a paper for extra credit in American Government and I need your imput.
Mom: On what?
Me: Prop 8.
Mom: What's Prop 8.
Me:To sum it up briefly it's a law that got passed in California banning gay marriage.
Mom: From a Christian perspective I believe I would be against same sex marriages. As a liberal I might say live and let live. I would not be an active propent of same sex marriages but neither would I shun or disparage those who do believe. The bible is clear that a marriage should be between man and woman. I would hope that I would follow the word of God.
Me:...Okay thanks...Now there's a second part.
Mom: Okay.
Me: If you had a family member who told you there were gay, what would you say?
Mom: I would say that I still love them. I don't like or agree with their decision but it is their choice. I would reference the Bible and even ask a minister or lay person to discuss religious implications.If God wanted us to be homosexuals he would have never made woman. (Now I don't know why she added this) He allowed eunuchs for specific purposes but not to mate.
Also....
Me: So you remember that kid Matthew Shepard who got killed a few years back?
Mom: Yeah.
Me: Well now they're making a Hate Crimes law right now and it just got passed in the House so that stuff like that couldn't happen.
Mom: Well it's about time. This covers Blacks, Jews, and other minorities as well right?
Me: Yeah. Some conservatives tried to say that the Matthew Shepard case wasn't a hate crime at all it was some kind of "thought" crime what ever that means.
Mom: No that was nothing but a hate crime. Nothing about that case was anything other than hate.
Now she used "I hope" and "I might" a few times in the first one more than I would have liked. Which makes me think that she doesn't know exactly what she believes. But it's just really confusing. I want to come out to her because a) huge load off my back b) she's my mother c) I don't want her to think I'm ashamed of this and that I kept if from her because of that. So I want to but...something's holding me back... I don't know if it's just from my nerves or if it's just from the fact that I'm not ready for everyone to know. I know that as soon as I tell her she's going to need to talk to her sisters and their going to need to talk about me together to figure out what to do about it and then they're going to go to church and ask people to pray for me and then I'm going to start getting phone calls...it's just going be a never ending cycle of "Let's discuss this cause we know best".
And I'm not ready for that. I'm just not. Ugh.
There's some kind of button where I can press fast forward right?
But I can't.
Examples of Contradiction:
Me: Mom I'm writing a paper for extra credit in American Government and I need your imput.
Mom: On what?
Me: Prop 8.
Mom: What's Prop 8.
Me:To sum it up briefly it's a law that got passed in California banning gay marriage.
Mom: From a Christian perspective I believe I would be against same sex marriages. As a liberal I might say live and let live. I would not be an active propent of same sex marriages but neither would I shun or disparage those who do believe. The bible is clear that a marriage should be between man and woman. I would hope that I would follow the word of God.
Me:...Okay thanks...Now there's a second part.
Mom: Okay.
Me: If you had a family member who told you there were gay, what would you say?
Mom: I would say that I still love them. I don't like or agree with their decision but it is their choice. I would reference the Bible and even ask a minister or lay person to discuss religious implications.If God wanted us to be homosexuals he would have never made woman. (Now I don't know why she added this) He allowed eunuchs for specific purposes but not to mate.
Also....
Me: So you remember that kid Matthew Shepard who got killed a few years back?
Mom: Yeah.
Me: Well now they're making a Hate Crimes law right now and it just got passed in the House so that stuff like that couldn't happen.
Mom: Well it's about time. This covers Blacks, Jews, and other minorities as well right?
Me: Yeah. Some conservatives tried to say that the Matthew Shepard case wasn't a hate crime at all it was some kind of "thought" crime what ever that means.
Mom: No that was nothing but a hate crime. Nothing about that case was anything other than hate.
Now she used "I hope" and "I might" a few times in the first one more than I would have liked. Which makes me think that she doesn't know exactly what she believes. But it's just really confusing. I want to come out to her because a) huge load off my back b) she's my mother c) I don't want her to think I'm ashamed of this and that I kept if from her because of that. So I want to but...something's holding me back... I don't know if it's just from my nerves or if it's just from the fact that I'm not ready for everyone to know. I know that as soon as I tell her she's going to need to talk to her sisters and their going to need to talk about me together to figure out what to do about it and then they're going to go to church and ask people to pray for me and then I'm going to start getting phone calls...it's just going be a never ending cycle of "Let's discuss this cause we know best".
And I'm not ready for that. I'm just not. Ugh.
There's some kind of button where I can press fast forward right?